×
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
  • Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
  • The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
  • P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
  • Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
  • Email: [email protected]

Should men be taught how to love?

Living
 The men's conference covered relationships, money and health (Photo: Shutterstock)

“Are Kenyan men under siege, why would they congregate in some hotel room in Eldoret to be taught how to be men?” posed Joyce Omondi in one of the many women group’s on social media. Joyce’s question whipped up a debate that might not die anytime soon.

This question attracted both negative and positive feedback in equal measure. Some thought the conference was the biggest joke of the year while others thought it’s time young men got mentorship on matters relationships from men who have been there and done that.

In her controversial prize-winning book - Boys: What it means to become a man, Rachel Giese, asks “feminism changed how women live and how girls are raised. But what about boys?

Whether this is what the men’s conference recently held in Eldoret seeks to address is a debate for another day.

The conference’s keynote speaker, Mzee Jackson Kibor, 85, dished a few tips on among other things how men should treat their women, how to make money and remain grounded while at it and how to take care of their health.

Our writer had a chat with four men who attended the conference:

Manning-up a day at a time

Ian Kiplimo, early 20s

Kiplimo, who braved the chilly morning to attend the conference on Monday says all the expectations he had about the conference were met and now he is ready to face the world.

He says his greatest takeaway was learning the art of self-reliance which Mzee Kibor said comes through hard work. “I went in empty but walked out a different man. When I saw men older than me stream into the venue, I knew wisdom was about to be shared there and having seen young men my age make mistakes especially on matters money and relationships, I didn’t want to miss out,” he says.

Young men, Kiplimo says, need such forums to vent and seek counsel from those who got there before them. “It was a well spent day because I got the opportunity to learn about manhood and what it means. It is clear now that I can define myself as a man and I know that being a man means responsivity in both family and society,” he adds.

Kiplimo says he also gathered a few tips on entrepreneurship; “I got the urge to challenge myself more and stop relying so much on my parents. I walked out a real man, I am now ready to face the world,” he notes.

On dating, Kiplimo says he walked out of the conference with answers to some of the questions he had for so long about women and what exactly they look for in men.  “I am now ripe for the dating scene, no more silly mistakes from now henceforth,” he explains.

Eligible bachelor, anyone?

Shaban Kurgat, mid 20s,

When Kurgat, heard about the conference a month ago, he thought it was the usual jokes that have dominated the social media scene for a while.

Kurgat, an eligible bachelor and a project manager at Habex Agro limited in Eldoret says he made a resolve to quit alcohol after the conference saying this could have ruined many of his relationships.

“For me, the conference was like a wakeup call on who I am meant to be as an African man. Even as I prepare to get married in the near future, I can say I am prepared and I know the kind of a woman I want,” he adds.

On matters health, Kurgat says he is now cautious on his diet and has made a deliberate effort to ensure he has a balanced diet at least two times a day.

“Seeing Kibor address such a conference at his age also inspired me to take care of my health. He shared with us what his diet is like and attributed his great health to his diet. Sometimes we young men don’t see the bigger picture, we deal with issues as they come but I know what I do now determines how my future turns out,” he notes.

 Many men felt they needed mentorship on relationships (Photo: Shutterstock)

Dating scene here I come…

Kevin Rutto, 25,

When Rutto heard about the conference, his main purpose was to network as he couldn’t fathom the idea of being advised by a man who in his little word is a failure in matters relationships having divorced two of his wives recently.

“I was surprised to meet a few friends at the conference. I am glad I took part in the conference, I walked out wiser and there are a few things I will apply in my dating life. If we could all make use of at least one of the tips shared on money, relationships and life in general, men will reclaim their places in homes and in society,” he says.

Rutto, who says he now has a few tips up his sleeve on matters relationships, says the conference couldn’t have come at a better time. “Young men seem to have lost direction but with such forums, they will get the much needed guidance and counselling,” he adds.

Now ready to put a ring on it!

Sammy Onyango, 32

Onyango, a finance officer in Siaya who was eager to attend the conference, described it as eye-opener. “I picked a few life lessons that will help me understand who an ideal man should be in a world where the men and women have equal opportunities in all aspects,” he says.

Onyango says from the conference, he now knows his responsibility as a man is primarily to provide and unite his family.

“Families today are not united because men have lost their commanding authority and leadership. The presence of men in families should bring a sense of security,” Onyango says.

He says he was elated to see career men including doctors, clergymen, university lecturers and bankers among other experts attend the conference and hopes everyone who attended will put what they learnt into practice.

“We were taught how to respect women even as we take up our leadership roles in families. We were told not to fight with our women but be firm in all our decisions,” says Onyango.

As an employee of a finance institution, Onyango says, he learnt the need to invest and grow wealth at a young age.

“It is now clear to me that a man should not die and leave his family languishing in poverty. I want to invest at a young age and enjoy the fruits of my labour in my old age,” he adds.

Onyango who says he now feels ready to marry the woman of his dreams says the mentorship couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time. 

“I am planning to get married in future but I have never had mentors. I have only had advisors. I feel more than ready now, the standards have been set for us,” he adds.

Related Topics


.

Similar Articles

.

Recommended Articles