Girl code: Stop using us as an excuse for your single life - Evewoman

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Girl code: Stop using us as an excuse for your single life

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Today I am here to tell you all that being a 'good girl' isn't a licence to marriage and marriage isn't a measure of success.

I put the words 'good girl' in quotes because good is relative and what you would think is good to me could be my worst nightmare and vice versa. All I am saying is that shall we for once give women a break on lectures of "never do this or that otherwise you risk dying single?" And shall we for once just let everyone live their own lives as long as they aren't crossing another person's path?

This habit of pointing fingers at women is now old fashioned and all you trying to create a 'marriage material' manual for women should divert your energy to discovering a better way to check how far a woman in labour has dilated. We all know the current manner in which we handle it is hell on earth.

Anyway, I have lived long enough to see 'good girls' dying single and 'bad girls' gracing successful marriages. Both men and women are on this planet in all shapes, colours and sizes -- just like chocolates. If you think white chocolate tastes better than brown, do you walk around castigating brown chocolate or do you just find your white chocolate and dig in? I mean, you can talk all you want from Antananarivo to Nagasaki but the brown chocolate will still be brown. And here, I am talking to both men and women.

If you spend the better part of your adulthood talking ill of a specific breed of the opposite gender, it only means your eyes are off your goal. Stop walking around yelling how this and that type of woman are not wife material. Did they ask you to marry them? Can't you just look in the direction of your preferred material and take a piece of it?

Then some of you want to blackmail women into marriage as if they told you their aim was to get married. If you want to get married, my friend, just go ahead and put a ring on it. Leave those still deciding to finish making their decision.

I saw someone somewhere threatening women that they will be buried in their father's compounds if they failed to get married. So he was busy telling women to live their lives as he would wish them to live just so they could get married and avoid getting buried in their father's compounds.

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So I ask today, are you my father? Is it your compound? Are you the one going to settle the bills of the cement that will be plastered on my grave if I am buried in my father's compound?

Some people are just being unfair and difficult to the girl child. There are a whole load of species to choose from. Just settle on your preferred choice and hit the road. I am not saying you shouldn't advise people on how to live better. All I am saying is, stop forcing a square peg into a round hole. Only advise those who have presented themselves to you for advice. Leave the rest to their maker -- we cannot all be same for Pete's sake.

These unwanted lectures are the same ones that lead both men and women into pretense. They will pretend to fit into your kind of man or woman. You will then fall in love and walk down the aisle with Mother Teresa but realise after a month that you have actually made serious vows with Beyonce -- and vice versa. I am not saying Mother Teresa is good and neither am I saying Beyonce is bad. All I am trying to say is that they are two very different types of women.

Dear ladies and gentlemen hoping to get into marriage, focus! Stop with the side shows already!


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The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of

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