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Bad boy: When your boss forces you to live the life of a married bachelor

Living

Your boss is a competitive man. He hates your guts. He thinks ladies in the office like you, and your presence in the office undermines his effort to try his bland charm on some intern. So insecure that he thinks you have slept with all of them.

That is why, when an opportunity comes to implement some programme in Lodwar, he comes to you straight and gives you two days to report to Lodwar. Never mind that your wife gave birth recently and you need to stay close to home.

“Are you the one breastfeeding?” he asks you in an attempt to be funny. He fails terribly. How is he your boss again?

So, last Wednesday, you reported to Lodwar and you were ushered into your new house. You will be a bachelor for the next three months and you will only be allowed to fly home once a month.

When you are used to being cooked for and you have no worries about stuff like laundry, starting over as a bachelor can be tough. At the moment, you eat out, but it is neither affordable nor healthy. You can only eat hotel food for so long.

Getting up to cook in Lodwar is not easy. For four days, you have been enjoying fish and meat, but you want some vegetables -- like only your wife can prepare them -- but it is a dream. You cooked some ugali and eggs and didn’t know how horrific it is to wake up to the sight of unwashed utensils.

Then, there is the washing and ironing of clothes. There is a woman hired by the company to do the job for you, but man, is she terrible! Shoddy does not even begin to define her work. Thankfully, nobody insists that you wear a suit to work like in Nairobi.

You miss your family. You miss the stubbornness of Caroline. You miss the little step-daughter Farrah, who is growing into a beautiful reflection of her mother. Thankfully, her rogue, lawyer father has not been problematic recently, unlike your baby mama, who recently had a sudden change of heart.

In a sense, coming to Lodwar has saved you from her cunning aunt who has the ability to convince you to take her back as the second wife. What cheek!

In the evenings, you sleep early as there is nothing you can do in Lodwar. You even wonder how people make love in the heat. The generator goes off at 9.30pm and you can’t misuse the power on your phone as you spend the rest of the day in the field.

It is a crappy life, despite the money and the freedom. You pray that your boss chokes on a bone or something for the silly games that he has never stopped since your paths cross. He never hesitates to pull rank on you, especially in front of women. Women hate him. But somehow, he thinks he is the sexiest man alive. Often, you want to send him screenshots of what people think of him.

But for three months, you will be in Lodwar and he will be in Nairobi. Wish you will ever get a chance to revenge.

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