Ladies, would you make the first move? - Evewoman

Lady Speak

Ladies, would you make the first move?

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Ladies, would you take the first initiative and approach a man if you liked what you saw? Maybe if you had a feeling that you could get into a relationship that would lead into marriage?

Personally, I have taught myself the art of taking this leap of faith. I refuse to suffer within me with feelings that I can express. What’s the worst that a man can say other than a soft ‘No’?

Okay, even if he decides to give me a loud and embarassing ‘NO’, who cares? I tried, after all. Better give it a try and be at peace than watch the potential love of your life being dangled before your eyes.

This said and done, how exactly do women approach the men they are drawn to? Society has been so harsh on women willing to approach men that they have resorted to funny tactics to get the attention of these men. I have seen women going to a shop six times in an hour just because their crush is standing next to the shop.

A man can make a woman go to the clothes line to hang the same pair of socks every ten minutes because they are sitting right in front of the clothes line.

One night, I had to stand out in the cold for more than two hours because my neighbour, who I had a crush on, had lost his house keys and so he was standing outside his door waiting for a fundi to come and break his door.

When I got there and found him standing there, I started pretending that I was frantically knocking on my door yet I knew very well that I lived alone. After knocking for a while, I made a fake phone call asking ‘whoever I lived with’ to open the door.

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“You mean you left for tao and didn’t remember to tell me? So how am I going to get into the house yet I have no keys?” I yelled as I gave my crush the side eye. That’s how I ended up outside for two hours with my crush as he waited for his fundi and I waited for my imaginary cousin to get back from town.

Let me just say I will never again suffer in vain because of love. This crush never even noticed my presence. He was glued to his phone all through and didn’t even appreciate my attempt to pose like a Top Model with my chest out, chin up, behind out and ‘smiling eyes’. I regretted my wrong move and shivered through the two hours because I had not carried a sweater.

The moment his fundi came and broke his door, I clicked so hard and got into my house with a running nose. From then on, I told myself that I would never again suffer in silence. If you make my heart beat faster than usual, I will approach you and hit the nail on the head.

The problem with some of these men is that they never read signs. Or do they just choose to ignore them? There is no way I can be waking up every morning and sending you a ‘good morning’ text and you think it’s normal. Yes, it’s normal if I am your sister, mother, wife or girlfriend. I am not an automated machine that sends you a text every morning. Get the message and stop playing dumb already!

I have been chatting with this handsome man for the last six months and it seems like his phone has nothing but emojis. Even when I tell him the best of things, he will answer with a smiling or a dancing emoji as if I am some Zumba trainer.

Anyway, if he hasn’t gotten the hint by now, we are probably not meant to be. I will just let it slide as I wait for my heart to fall for someone else.

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Dear single men around me, the next time I dial your number ‘by mistake’ and tell you it was my daughter playing with the phone, kindly spread your antennae and gather all possible networks around you. Why would my daughter settle on your number of all the numbers in my phone book? Open your eyes, the queen is in your neighbourhood!


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