Ladies,you don't have to wait for him to propose,pop that question instead

It is engagement season, just incase the sudden increase of women flaunting engagement rings on social media hasn’t given it away. Most engagements happen between November and February, with more couples getting engaged in December than any other month. There is just something about the holidays that spurs men to propose. Needless to say, it is an anxiety-ridden season for women angling for the ring. One common predicament for women in committed relationships is the man not showing signs of popping the question even after they have been seeing each other for a while.

You’d think that it is common sense that since you have been seeing each other for a long time, you have discussed marriage and a future together, he will pop the question any time soon. You start to think that every dinner date, movie date or even a cosy afternoon spent together could be the setting for your engagement, but it just doesn’t come. You drop hint after hint, but he is still oblivious to it all. When you are finally at your wits end and ask him point blank when he intends to propose, he mumbles “soon” or some other answer without a definite timeline. He feeds you the tired excuse of wanting to get his money right before settling down. What do you do in such a situation? Do you wait around or bail?

One thing that rubs me the wrong way about this whole getting engaged matter is the assumption that it is entirely up to men and that getting engaged should only happen at his convenience. It doesn’t matter what the woman thinks or how she feels. It can only happen when HE is ready. If a woman tries to start the conversation about getting married, she is “putting pressure” on him and that is wrong. She should just shut up and wait for him to bring it up in his own time. 

This is utterly ridiculous and I found it hard to believe that this is how grown-ass adults actually go about getting engaged. A woman should have as much say as a man as to when they get engaged. This backward thinking has made women so afraid of bringing up the topic of marriage that they will date a man for a ridiculous period of time without the guarantee of marriage at the end, just because they don’t want to “put pressure on him”. I don’t know about you but the way I see it, the whole point of dating is to get married. It is not up to the man to decide when you will get engaged. After you have dated a man for two years or so, you have every right to ask for a ring. I hate to burst your bubble but surprise, out-of-the blue engagements only happen in movies. Real life engagements are discussed and planned in advance. You might not know the exact moment, but you definitely know it is coming.

This is because you didn’t shut up and wait for him to be ‘ready.’ The desire for marriage is valid and should be taken seriously. Unless he has a valid reason why he wants to wait, sit him down today and talk and agree on a timeline of getting engaged.