I have engaged in a few acts of kindness. Let me put it out there on the internet for the universe to behold because, sweet mercy, what is the point of acts of kindness if you are not going to parade them all over?
I gave a street child Sh20 for food in the morning, after he harassed me for money. But because of my glowing personality, I couldn’t help but seize the moment and use it as an opportunity to take a selfie with him, and humble-brag on Instagram. I used statements like “my own journey from humble beginnings”, “God has been faithful” and “paying it forward” to make myself appear kind, loving and unpretentious to my virtual friends and followers.
You’ll be amazed at how much involving God in your gloating fools people into thinking that you are a wonderful, God-fearing, God-trusting person. It has been working for me.
Anyway, I got a staggering amount of positive reactions and comments. It felt great. I was showered with praises and adoration, and people wished there were more people like me in the world. To endear myself more to them, I quickly published a follow-up post stating that I would personally see to it that the street child was taken into a good home, and pay for his education. It was a lie, but necessary for my image.
In the afternoon, I visited some patients, in particular children and the elderly. I wasn’t alone. A small group of friends accompanied me on this mission of love and hope, but since I did the most work, they do not deserve recognition. It was heartbreaking and distressing to see the suffering that the patients were going through and so I thought that it would be an excellent idea to take plenty of photos with them.
Sure, most of them were in physical pain and could only wince and grimace, but I really didn’t care because that would make good fodder for the next Facebook post, which was actually done a few hours ago.
It was a photo album titled HEY, LOOK AT HOW MUCH OF A BETTER PERSON I AM THAN YOU WILL EVER BE, BECAUSE I TOOK APPLES AND COLOURING BOOKS TO CANCER PATIENTS. The ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ I got were incredibly overwhelming.
For me, it was… it was an intense moment of profundity - I did not even notice the tears soaking my face! I was touched to the very core of my being, and I was deeply inspired to visit more patients, in more hospitals, with a better camera.
Hopefully, the next wards I will go to will have better lighting because I have to look my best in the photos. I mean, look at these photos… I look like I’m terribly bloated or heavily pregnant, and my designer shoes weren’t even well captured. And Karen, she looks better than me. Since when? Perhaps I should not let Andrew take the photos next time. Amateur.
Ah, yes. Later on, I visited a children's home. I did mega shopping for them. Well, a few friends were there and they helped a great deal, but I just have to take all the credit. I will randomly tag them when I post the photos online, but I am likely to ‘forget’, so I will just tag one person then throw in a statement like, “I can’t mention you all but…” That will do.
I proudly took several photos beside the pile of foodstuff that I took to the home. I think I will post those ones. Especially since my hair looks so thick and bouncy… see how it shimmers under the gentle light of the setting sun? I could even make it my profile photo.
I have to show people that I am the change the world needs. I have to give them concrete evidence of my sparkling personality and my big, charitable heart. I think it will be in everyone’s best interests to give a detailed account of how I shopped for the foodstuff, and how I love children immensely, and how I made a life-long impact in the lives of those children.
I’ll make sure to draw attention to myself as one of the wonderful people in society with a hand that gives without expecting anything in return.
I'm not doing it for anyone. I don’t do these things for show. I just have a burning passion to make the world a better place. And what good would this passion do if I didn't have an even stronger desire to let everyone know I donated wheelchairs and crutches to the disabled? And remind them with every scroll and every swipe?
I cannot do these things quietly. People have to know. They have to see that if I died, the world would have lost a selfless, valuable soul. If my acts of kindness and humanity went unnoticed (on social media), my life would be meaningless. I would have no purpose.
Let me create an album of the children's home food donation photos and share it on Facebook. I expect the comments section to blow up. I am so excited!