×
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
  • Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
  • The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
  • P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
  • Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
  • Email: [email protected]

Why ladies never reveal exact number of past sexual partners

Lady Speak

The year is 2017 and women still feel the need to lie about the number of sexual partners they have had. In this liberated, sex positive-age, more women are having casual sex but they are still not admitting it. A friend recounted to me how her boyfriend had brought up “the talk”. They were having a quiet dinner in the house when, out of the blue, he asked her how many sexual partners she has had.

She described to me how he recoiled in horror when she said five. Her boyfriend thought five sexual partners are way too many for a woman in her mid-twenties. Then my friend divulged to me that she had actually lied to him and she has in fact slept with nine men in her life.

Seeing how he was horrified to learn she has slept with five guys, she wondered what his reaction would have been if she had told him the truth. She told me she felt ‘slut-shamed’. Ironically, when he same question was posed to him, he said six and he felt that six was an appropriate number of sexual partners for a man his age (he is also in his mid-twenties). ?

Sadly, the old double standard of a man who has had a lot of sexual partners being a ‘ladies’ man’ and a woman who has had a lot of sexual partners being a ‘slut’ is still alive. This is the reason why women feel compelled to lie about their number. Women are still afraid of being perceived as sluts. My friend is just one of the many women who under-report the number of sexual partners they have had to their significant others. Men, on the other hand, have been known to inflate the number of their sexual partners.

Some people argue that the double standard exists because of the very nature of the sexes. Apparently, men are biologically programmed to seek several mates while women are programmed to be more selective in order to be seen as more viable life-long partners. With all the sex education that is out there, there are still men who believe that the vagina somehow gets ‘damaged’ or ‘wears out’ when a woman has slept with too many guys.

Quite a number of men are still of the opinion that being intimate with a woman who has slept with a lot of men counts less than having sex with a woman who has not had much experience in the bedroom. A few insecure men also worry that because their girlfriends have had a lot of sexual partners, they have a greater number of lovers to compare their skills with.

I understand the curiosity about your significant others ‘number’ but what are you really gaining by knowing that your girlfriend has slept with five men? There is literally no positive contribution to knowing that. You don’t need to know, especially if you are going to use it to shame her.

If you know that you are going to look at her differently if she has slept with more than a certain number of men then simply don’t ask. The only thing that you should be worried about is that her number doesn’t go up after you. It shouldn’t matter if you are her third of her tenth sexual partner as long as she doesn’t add a number four or eleven while you are with her.

 

Related Topics


.

Similar Articles

.

Recommended Articles