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If you can’t discipline kids, then don’t have them!

Parenteen

‘Discipline’ is a funny word. It can’t easily be separated from some of its harsher synonyms such as ‘order,’ ‘control’ and ‘punishment.’ Indeed, the liberal expatriate, newly-arrived from EuroAmerica, soon realises that, in Kenya, these are the ONLY synonyms of ‘discipline’ that Kenyan adults understand and permit.

Back in the UK, ‘discipline’ is a word that seems ‘old-fashioned.’ Indeed, utter it and the rest of the population looks at you as if you just said, ‘You know, on reflection, Adolf Hitler wasn’t THAT bad!’ Nevertheless, children usually are successfully disciplined, and as far as I’m aware, dorm burnings, certain communal forms of drug dens and underage forms of unsafe sex and the like are comparatively rare in the UK.

Of course, the UK has many historical privileges that make this the case, and which can’t be overlooked, and yet the method of ‘disciplining’ children also plays a role.

In much of Europe, for instance, ‘discipline’ is achieved through chats with adults who happily give both time and damns about children, and it comes through responsible informal lessons ‘personal, social and health education’, where sex and social matters are dealt with frankly and without bias. Generally, it seems to work, where earlier forms of ‘disciplining’ never did.

In Kenya, matters can be different. Kenyan adults talk a very good and stern talk when it comes to ‘discipline,’ and often get very animated when dealing with ‘wayward children.’ At school, parents will insist that bemused headteachers hit their children, or that they should be able to hit their own children in the head’s office.

The weaker, more cowardly and unprofessional teachers (of which it seems, from the media, there are many) might, either voluntarily or through their own ‘adult’ forms of ‘peer pressure,’ capitulate and, yes, forgetting the law, beat their charges to death, or get other pupils to do it for them.

Alternatively, these same parents who preach ‘discipline’ don’t or can’t practise it at all. They devolve all responsibility for a child’s welfare to school or they simply don’t care. Many’s the time I’ve sat in a gathering to hear young parents moan about ‘the children of today,’ only to watch them let their own children throw litter everywhere, be rude to adults such as ‘househelps,’ or do other such things. These are the same, often middle-class parents, who leave their children alone in estates during holidays, let them go to unknown friends’ houses, and so on. Often, they are the same parents who believe that taking their children to church for a random Sunday will somehow ‘cure’ them.

In short, the Kenyan approach to dealing with children and their issues seems to be to ignore them and then, when some terrible misbehaviour occurs, either beat them to death or completely forgive them.

Neither works, and adults end up looking outdated or ridiculous. This makes them more angry and more likely to beat, exacerbating the problem. Indeed, it might be best for us to stop having children. And politicians.

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