The campus man has slowly and surely evolved into one of the most despicable creatures ever seen. You can see him strolling in his rugged jeans and hair that has not been washed in weeks. They are everywhere, these jokes of men.
They are on the highways, dragging their entitled behinds to class while the female population with a thousand heavy baby-bumps passes them. You will hear them rap along to Humble while they proudly show their cheap boxers.
The current campus man drinks keg, cowardly, with a straw. With every tug and pull at the straw, their livers go to waste.
The current campus man treats the condom as a myth.’’Nitamwaga nje’ ‘they say. That is the devil’s trap. He will tremble and shake like a broken washing machine, lose his senses and deposit instead of withdraw. He says abortion faster than he says protection and turns the girlfriend into a pill-popping human.
The campus man chews loudly and thinks he is cool, just because they call him ‘’bruh’’.
He is loud, obnoxious and very opinionated; mostly on matters under the skirts.
He will tell you which female has the best ‘rack’ but cannot tell you the Sustainable Development Goals.
In the evenings, you will find him in groups, mumbling while coming up with game predictions. Of course, he doesn’t make correct predictions, not with a rice-sized brain. The little money parents send for sustenance eventually goes to the big daddy, read betting firm.
The modern campus man is a drug-peddler. Nothing is too shady for him. He knows no limits. He will prostitute for a blunt, beg for a shot of vodka and resort to ass-kissing for coital pleasure.
On the weekends, you will find him and his boys living only once. Money will be blown as they chase beauties. He will wake up on Monday, full of regret and slowly walk his lotion-scented self to class.
He will post photos on the gram, captioned “Turn up was lit.’’ Meanwhile, his pocket and bank account is anything but ‘lit’.
The campus man is a sorry excuse of a man and this could be the main reason the sponsor has been embraced. No one would want to deal with a child and disregard the man. I might be wrong but no one would choose headaches and broke sexual energy over maturity and financial stability.