×
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
  • Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
  • The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
  • P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
  • Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
  • Email: [email protected]

When parents and relatives invite 'strangers' to your wedding

Relationships

Dear Coleen

I’m getting married in April and at Christmas my dad invited a few people to my wedding without asking my fiancé or me. He’d had one too many festive drinks.

One of the people is his cousin, whom he hasn’t seen since they were in their twenties, and the other two are old friends who used to live next door when I was little.

I barely remember any of these people and it wouldn’t have entered my head to invite them. It’s a fairly small wedding and we’re paying for most of it ourselves.

I felt very upset, but my fiancé told me to keep calm and was convinced they probably wouldn’t actually accept my dad’s invitation because they hadn’t been in touch with my family for so many years.

However, my mum told me last week that these people did intend to come to the wedding and that we should inform the caterer and rearrange the seating plan.

I lost the plot to be honest and refused – we just don’t have the room or the budget to accommodate them, so I told her to email them and explain. We haven’t been able to invite proper friends and colleagues, who we see all the time, in order to keep the costs down, so why should we invite people I hardly know?

This whole thing has really tainted the run-up to my wedding, which should be a lovely, exciting time. I’m now worried it’ll ruin my wedding day. Any ideas?

Coleen says

Someone usually throws a spanner into the works when you’re planning a wedding – you’ve been lucky it’s just the one!

People become very sensitive about guest lists and their roles on the big day, so what’s happening here isn’t unusual. I think you have to stick to your guns over these last-minute additions.

I’m sure your venue has some rules about the maximum number of guests they can accommodate, so use that when you’re talking to your parents.

Your father was very naughty to invite people without asking you and he should really be the one to call them, apologise and explain that the guest list had already been agreed and there’s no room for any extra people.

As for your dad’s long-lost buddies, I’m sure they’ll get over it and won’t hold it against him once they know he wasn’t actually in a position to invite them.

They’ll probably think it’s funny!

Stay calm and rope in your fiancé if you’re feeling overwhelmed or need to smooth things over with your mum and dad.

You’re in control – don’t let it spoil things. I’m sure it’ll all be forgotten about on the day.

Related Topics