How do I tell my hubby I gambled all my pension? - Evewoman
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How do I tell my hubby I gambled all my pension?

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I worked in a bank until August last year when we were offered a chance for early retirement. After I got my package, a friend introduced me to casinos where he promised me a lot of money in returns from gambling. At first I won some money then when I started putting in larger amounts, I lost almost half of the money. Last December, I put in another significant amount in a local betting game and lost it as well. Now my husband is asking why my pension is taking so long as he wants us to invest it in real estate to boost his company. I don’t know what to tell him and my doctor says I am moving into depression. I keep having weird thoughts about taking my life rather than face the shame that is ahead of me. {Rachael}

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Your Take:

Gambling is a win or lose game and you ought to have understood that before betting such a handsome amount of money. However, you have to face reality, gather courage and open up to him. Admit it was a foolish mistake and promise to have learnt a vital lesson. He may react violently at first but at least you will have opened up.

{Kiplangat Bellion}

I want to trust that you did this out of goodwill. You intended to invest and boost your family welfare. It is a hard lesson to internalize, but this is the moment of truth. Committing suicide will not help; stop thinking about it and live positively.

 Because of the trust he had in you, he will feel cheated and opt to walk away from his matrimonial home. This will be temporary so stay calm and pray. Call and talk to him daily with a lot of humility.

{Simon Muchera}

You should have learnt from mistakes made by others before and that would have been an eye opener for you. You were misled. He will complain but you never know he may hold your hand through this as you heal.

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Suicide is an act of cowardice that should not even cross your imagination! Go for counselling and you will definitely realise that people have lost more and they have not committed suicide.

{Ouma Rangumo}

Suicide does not solve anything as it will only bring more stress within the family. Tell him the truth and accept that you are addicted to gambling. Seek professional advice rather than consider taking your own life. Start building your life a fresh.

{Onyango Outha}

Your Take:

Rachael, from your description, you seem to be a compulsive gambler. A compulsive gambler is one who secretly gambles and they cannot restrain themselves from the practice until they run out of money.

 

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Unfortunately, this gambling streak is likely to continue until you accept and admit that you have a gambling problem and thereafter seek help for it.

You need professional help from this Rachael and any further delay will resort to you taking more money to the gambling table in your attempts to recoup what you have already lost.

 At this point, you need to come clean and disclose what happened at least to your husband. This will ease off the tension that is building up between the two of you as well as diffuse the notion that you have money stashed somewhere and will not share it with him.

Lastly, it is never too late to reform from gambling. You can fight this addiction but it all starts with knowing that there is nothing like a free lunch in this world. Avoid situations that put you into temptations to gamble.

Your husband may also need patience and understanding through all this. Do not be surprised if at first instance he decides to leave or he detests you for engaging in those schemes. With the right kind of support, he will come around and someday, things will get back to where they were.

 If there is some money left, be sure to support him in his business ventures. In so doing, he will not feel that he lost everything and this will soften things between the two of you. {Taurus}

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