Dear men, today we are here to say a little prayer for you to wake you up from your deep slumber. You are quick to get into a relationship or marriage but slow to spend a shilling. What on earth happened to you? Just like with the Galatians, I ask, “Who bewitched you?” Even the Bible says you are the head of the family yet you are stuck at the tail being wagged left right and center.
Oh wait! Before you start shooting dead bullets my way, I am talking about you who comfortably walks like a family man but behaves like a huge baby, still eyeing its mother’s ‘boobs’ hoping to breastfeed at the slightest opportunity.
Why, oh why, have you refused to provide for your families? Why must your woman be the one working her back to pay all the bills and feed you? Yet you lie there every day without shame hoping to increase the number of voters 18 years from now!
When we wake up every morning and leave you in bed still warming the sheets as if you were operating a 24-hr machine all night, all we do is regret the day our hearts mislead us! Yes, we know you are not employed, but who lied to you that job opportunities will catwalk into the house in a single file and parade themselves before you like the Swaziland virgins before their king?
What happened to men waking up every morning and hitting the road — whether employed or not — just to make sure that bills are paid in the house? Some of you lie on couches bought by your hardworking wives glued to televisions bought by your wives scrolling through the channels paid for by your wives as you munch on food bought and made by your wives!
It is such a pity that while you do this, there is not a single ray of guilt in you. After all, things are running smooth in the house without you sweating; of course, unless you are sweating yourself wet fulfilling the only duty they are good at, football off the pitch.
Oh, these men are good at it, they are never offside, always in the pitch before time and always aim at scoring goals even from the farthest end of the pitch. Most of them are good at braces and hat-tricks! Father in heaven, give us the courage to Red card these men!
These same men want to be treated like bosses by their wives! Twisting their mouths like Nigerian women and going mum for days because their wives weren’t able to prepare beef and instead, like they say, treated them like rabbits by preparing vegetables for a whole week!
Man, if you want to eat like a lion, hunt like a fierce one! Otherwise, we are going to feed you like you are on Lent period for as long as you behave like you are still under your parents’ roofs.
We are on our knees as well for those women still ‘bringing up’ these ‘huge babies’. If he cannot provide for his family and is not showing any signs of wanting to, for Pinocchio’s sake stop treating him like a boss. You are the reason we have a shortage of responsible men in this generation.
Men who behave like ticks sucking women dry are all and it’s unfortunate that they are always very ready to settle down and start families. No wonder the rise of the number of women paying their own dowries and blinding their families that their significant others are the ones who have paid.
Dear God, stretch your arms and reach these men. Like you divided the Red sea into two, divide this imaginary love. Take them to one side and protect us on the other, grow them up and make them the men you created them to be. Finally, reunite us once they are responsible. Amen!
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