Who is the right person to date if you're in your early-mid 20s? - Evewoman


Tired of playing second fiddle? Avoid these men

Photo; Courtesy

A 21-year-old, absolutely beautiful girl recently posed a question to me that got me thinking. She asked me who between an older, experienced person and a young, naïve college boy is better suited for her to date.

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I can understand her dilemma. At 21, and so blessed with immense beauty, she certainly attracts the attention of her classmates and college mates. And older men equally want a piece of her. It can be confusing.

It is American journalist Helen Rowland, who said the hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. Every day, men seduce women, telling them all the sweet things women want to hear, some even promising marriage, just but to take them to bed and leave them.

There is no easy way out of the dilemma a woman finds herself in the early 20s. We can only weigh on the pros and cons of each age set and the college girl can make her own choice in selecting a mate.

For starters, her male peers in college are probably very broke, sexually energetic, but often inexperienced. They are yet to learn how to handle their liquor or treat a lady decently. Charge it to the lack of experience. Equally, college boys also can be promiscuous and disrespectful.

Yet, not many of them are bad. Mostly broke, but good chaps all the same. And can be loving and caring. And every girl needs to date a college lad, because, certainly, there is no love out there than the love life in campus.

Older guys are experienced, monied and can meet the basic demands of most college going girls without too much fuss. A fancy phone, a weekend getaway, nice food at the city's better restaurants, you name it. The very things that tickle the fancy of a college girl.

But the psychological gap between the two is so wide, rarely does a girl know. In my estimation, the man just wants to sleep around with a youthful lass for his ego and will leave when he wants. And often they leave when the girl starts fantasizing about everything including marriage.

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 And he is probably married or looking for a woman aspiring for bigger things in life than expensive rum in an up-scale bar in the leafy suburbs.

Quite often, the college girl might be married to the older person. But she will always be a housewife or will always play second fiddle in the relationship. But if you elect to date a campus boy who declares that he loves you, you can turn him into a man and live to have a more balanced relationship or marriage whereby you are not a doormat necessarily.

To me, going for the older person is steeped in the short-term that informs the decision of many young women that they live to regret later in life. While more secure financially and in terms of stability, chances are that the man will keep going to the young women in college, just as he came for you.

My advice is that date someone not older than you by five years, if you want your freedom, independence to grow as an adult. Not someone older who looks down upon you just because he provides and has a huge head start over you. But always follow your heart, even though the heart is wrong half the time.

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