×
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
  • Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
  • The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
  • P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
  • Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
  • Email: [email protected]

5 sure signs you are in the friendzone

Living
 Photo:Courtesy

By Ordia Akelo (@OrdiaAkelo)

Women can smell a potential relationship from across the room. Even before you approach her, she knows whether you will make the cut or not. Depending on what she wants and what you have, she will have formulated the right response for you when you finally ask for her name.

If you qualify, she will have taken up your last name, given you two kids - a boy and a girl and furnished your palatial house in Runda all in her mind the moment you walk up to her.

On the other hand, when they know you do not stand a fighting chance but you are vulnerable, nice, cute, easily manipulated and cuddly they will decide to lead you on to ‘see where the relationship goes’.

Some if not most of us have the weird habit of taking you round in circles; making you spend tons of hard earned money then eating your time and food before flatly telling you NO.

Let me make it easier for you though, if you know you walked up to a lady with the hope of taking her as your own, yet several months later -lets scale it down to two weeks- you are holding her bag at the mall as she tries out dresses for an outing with ‘friends’ or taking her for smoothies on a lazy ‘plotless’ sunny afternoon with no hopes whatsoever of romance, my friend you have been friend zoned.

It’s the worst thing that can happen to any man or woman, who holds on to a thin string of hope, waiting for a spark.

I sure do not know what signs they are waiting for but the only signs I will be sharing here are:

If she is overly comfortable around you on the first date

First impressions are a big deal for both ladies and men. We therefore watch our every step whenever we are around new people we like. We want them to think the best of us as we are under pressure to impress so we will suppress all the weird habits we have.

I therefore call CODE RED when your dream lady does not give a hoot and instead unleashes her beast on your first date. If she drinks herself silly or downs a meal enough to feed a village on the first date with reckless abandon, run and never look back. There is no hope in sight.

If she says you are cute: Ladies reserve the word cute for little puppies, and chubby children nibbling at cookies at the store. Cute is those heart melting gushy picture of kittens dressed in bow ties and top hats.

We do not describe a guy we are interested in as cute. Even the guy would be offended. Potential dates are best described as hot, so when she says you are sooo cute with a mushy accent as she ruffles your hair, move along if you were hoping for something more than just friendship because it is just not happening.

Calling you bro

This might be a major deal breaker because when all you get from her is, you are so tall like my brother or Your voice reminds me of my brother who is in the army,  it can only get worse.

You have been pulled out of the friend zone and abandoned in the family zone which is the worst case scenario. No lady wants to get cozy with her big brother.

Describing guys that are totally your opposite: If you know you are a laid back guy who takes life one day at a time, is past 25 but still has no place of his own yet all you have heard from her is, ‘I like independent men’ or ‘Outgoing men are so interesting and unpredictable’.

Or if you are too dark yet she keeps showing you pictures of light skinned Eritrean men on Instagram then double tapping them fast and furious, move aside you are not nailing this one.

When you are the go to guy when she has problems with her boyfie

If for some weird reason she mentioned she had a boyfriend and you still stayed, that was the first sign.  Now that you are aware and available, whenever anything awesome happens, you will be the first to know. You will pretend to pull a smile to show how happy you are for her but deep inside you will be dying.

When anything wrong happens, she will of course run into your loving arms, you will thank the guy for being such a d***bag and have hopes that she will leave him for you.

Wake up and smell the coffee because that is not happening. In fact she will be offended the day you decide to unleash your bottled up feelings and just like that you will have wasted your youthful days on unfruitful love.

Related Topics


.

Similar Articles

.

Recommended Articles