Dear Coleen: Will she think I dumped my girlfriend to be with her? - Evewoman


Dear Coleen: Will she think I dumped my girlfriend to be with her?

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Dear Coleen

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I’m a 28-year-old man and I’ve become friends with a pretty Irish girl who’s around the same age. We met at a concert in London where she first thought I was gay and then asked me what my relationship status was (at that time I had a girlfriend).

That relationship ended soon after, not because I wanted to leave her for this new girl, but my girlfriend just suddenly dumped me because she thought she was ‘wasting her time’ with me.

She also told me she’d met someone else who she liked better than me!

It has been a few months now and this girl has been in touch to say we should definitely meet up when we go to the Eurovision song contest in Sweden. She asked me if I’d booked my tickets and hotel yet and which shows I’d be attending.

I really want to tell her I’m now single and ready to move on, but I don’t want her thinking I’m a dodgy character who left his girlfriend to hook up with her.

To my knowledge, she is also single and she must like me because she offered to cover the balance on my train pass with her debit card on the night we met.

She also sent a message saying she was looking forward to seeing me in Sweden, adding kisses at the end of each message. I’d love your advice on how to proceed.

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Coleen says

To be honest, I don’t know if you even have to tell her that you’re single.

It might scare her off if you just blurt it out, but if you carry on the friendship I’m sure she’ll enquire about your relationship and that’s when you can say, ‘Yeah, it didn’t work out and she finished with me’. Tell her as part of the conversation. You don’t have to make a big deal of it.

Also, I think you’re worrying too much. She clearly likes you, so that’s why I’m sure she’ll be the one to ask. If I really liked a guy, but thought he had a girlfriend, I’d ask in the hope he’d say that he wasn’t with her any more!

Have a good time together when you meet up without expecting too much and see where it leads.

I’m sure she won’t think you’re a cad – from reading your letter, you don’t come across that way at all. Have fun!

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