Kick those toxic friends out of your life
I have very few friends, actually countable. Actually, they are less than five. I realised the older a woman becomes; the wiser she becomes in choosing her friends and sieves off the toxic ones.
Even so, some women our age (we are in the under 40 age bracket) have a battalion of friends; it’s like a rugby cheering squad. But if you look closely at this web of friends; you realise some are toxic energy that need to be weeded out of your life. So today, I will talk about toxic friends:
Jealous Jane: You have landed a dream job that you have been praying and fasting about then you call Jealous Jane with excitement to share the good news. And instead of celebrating with you, she goes like. “OK. I’ve heard.” That is an outright ‘Mama wivu’ and you need to cut links pap!
Petrolina the Pretender: You walk out of the house with an outfit that makes you look like a sex-starved teenager and instead of telling you the naked truth, she goes like “Uko smart.” And after that lie, she starts talking behind your back. An independent mama needs a friend who can dish out the truth without sugar coating it. Better tell me the truth than leave me to go out there and be stripped naked by idle goons.
Siprosa the Slippery one: Do you have that one friend who is so unreliable; you’d rather trust the elusive ‘fundi was nguo’? And it is when you desperately need her to honour her word that she lets you down with flimsy excuses. For instance, you request her to go pick your kid from school then she agrees, but last minute — at 3.40pm (kiddo is picked at 3:45pm) — when you have no plan B, she sends you a disappointing WhatsApp message, “Sori can’t make it, something came up.” Then next her phone goes ‘mteja’. And it is not just once, but it is a habit she has formed. A mama needs a sister whose word she can take to the bank.
Gossip Girl: When you are with her, the narrative always revolves around so and so is sleeping with so and so, so and so has an untreatable form of STD, so and so is sleeping with the watchman and the list goes on. Do not entertain this big mouth because the same way she is dishing out other people’s stuff is the same way she speaks about you.
Miss Crisis: This is the one girl I cannot stand. Her life is always decorated with one crisis after another. So every time you pick her call or read her messages, she is in a crisis and is on the verge of suicide if you do not respond. So to save the situation, you have to play Agony Aunt all the time. This mama has so many problems, when you connect with her; it’s not a bonding session but a crisis counselling session. This girl is draining and she needs to be drained out of your life.