I think I'm pregnant and my boyfriend's granddad could be the father
I’ve been having a fling with my boyfriend’s granddad and now I’m pregnant.
Do I lie to my boyfriend about what’s been happening and say the baby is his or tell the truth?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years – he’s 22 and I’m 19.
I’ve known his family a long time and our parents are friends.
His grandfather is 58 but he’s a football coach and very fit.
My fella’s parents had a big party at their house and we all had a great time. That’s when I met his grandfather and we ended up kissing.
Since then we’ve met three times for sex and now I’m pregnant and, honestly, I don’t know who the father is.
I love my boyfriend – should I pretend it’s definitely his?
It would break his heart if he found out what I’ve been doing.
Well, it sounds like the baby could be his or his granddad’s. I don’t think you can lie about something as important as this – somewhere along the line the truth will come out.
It might be next year or in 20 years, but down the line it will emerge for one reason or another.
I think it would be so much worse for everyone concerned if they discovered that you’d been deceiving them for years.
It sounds as if you’ve decided you want to keep the baby, but you have to be prepared that the revelation of your affair with your boyfriend’s granddad will tear their family apart.
He won’t forgive his granddad for what he did – and he probably won’t forgive you either – but it would be worse to deceive him more by ignoring the fact this baby is likely to be his granddad’s.
Of course, the only way of knowing for sure is to have tests done once the baby is born.
There’s no getting away from it, you’ve made a big error of judgment, but what’s happened has happened and it’s how you deal with it now that counts.
Focus now on how things are going to be when this baby comes along – you’re going to have a lot on your plate.
I hope you’re close to your parents and that they can be supportive. They will be very angry with this man, so be prepared for the fallout.
But I really don’t believe in lying about a child’s heritage and I think that deep down you feel the same, too. Good luck.