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I'm not passionate about my boyfriend... will it develop?

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I'm not passionate about my boyfriend... will it develop?

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Dear Coleen,

Two years ago, I moved to a new area where I had no friends or family to take up a new job.

Last year, I met a man at the ­company I work at and I’ve been living with him for six months.

I feel like I have a great lifestyle but, apart from him, I haven’t made any friends, so he is my whole life.

He makes me very happy, he is kind, thoughtful and caring but, unfortunately, I just don’t find him attractive.

I don’t mind being close with him but I don’t feel passionate about him like I did about my ­previous boyfriend.

He has asked me a few times whether I fancy him and I haven’t lied.

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I’ve told him that I want to fancy him and I hope that, if we get closer, I can develop more feelings for him.

I desperately want to love him as I feel like we could have a great life together but, after being in a ­relationship with him since the end of last year, I am starting to wonder if I will ever feel any passion for him?

Coleen says.

No, I don’t think you will. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I don’t think passion is something you can force.

You can obviously pretend – some people do that for years – but the danger is that, at some point, someone will come along who does ignite that passion and one of you (probably him) will get hurt.

It’s a fact of life that it’s not always the person who seems right for us on paper that sparks that passion.

I remember my cousin was dating the loveliest guy imaginable and one day she admitted to me that he just didn’t do it for her, although she cared for him deeply and he was perfect husband material.

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If that passion and excitement isn’t there, it isn’t there. End of story.

I think you’ll hurt your bloke more if you stay with him until someone comes along who you do have chemistry with.

You simply have to be honest with him. All those other things that are good about your relationship are pointless if that spark isn’t there.

You might as well be living with your mate. If you haven’t got any passion now, how will you feel two or three years down the line?

It’s time to walk away – for both your sakes.

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