When your man derails your financial take-off

Two ladies confronted a financial crisis they were facing in two different ways.

The first one took a loan, handed over to the husband to 'invest' for the family.

As soon as the man received the money, he changed.

He came home every night drunk; and when the wife enquired about the progress of the family 'investment,' he explained that he had come home late because he was in a meeting with serious investors and he was about to clinch a deal of a lifetime.

She waited to be told about the breakthrough in vain. One day, she realised that her husband's habits had reverted to normal.

The money had been blown away. She was left holding an empty dream and a Sacco loan to service plus interest.

"I was naïve then," explained the first woman in our recent meeting discussing investment opportunities for women, "I trusted that he knew what was best for the family.

Being a faithful student of what her aunts advised her before her wedding that marriage is an open book where everything is put on the table including finances, she had dutifully followed the rules.

"I don't regret it any more as it was a lesson for me to wake up and take charge of my finances. Since that time, my husband and I respect each other as far as money is concerned."

She finally got round to have her dream realised. "I even started buying and selling land on the side. Within no time, I had saved enough to command a big loan to even buy a prime property.

I did it myself as the head of the family had failed me that first time. I only inform him about my plans. He doesn't even insist I include his name in my investments. It works for us."

The second one describes her partner as the worst dream killer. Instead of encouraging her or cheering her on as she sought investment opportunities, he came up with negative statements to discourage her. He clearly made her understand that when it came to family investments, he was the man of the house.

But not one to give up, she looked for a 'safer' investment opportunity. She talked to financial advisers. She invested in blue chip companies at the Nairobi Stock Exchange and put money in a fixed account. However, she was not satisfied with the returns; she wanted to own an apartment.

She took a risk and bought an apartment in Kileleshwa. She put together her savings to raise more than the required deposit which substantially reduced the interest in repayment.

"I saw it as similar to investing in the stock market and the rent I got from the tenant topped up the mortgage repayment and I was able to own the house in a short time. So the rent was like me receiving dividends only that this time I earned every end of the month instead of yearly."

With this solid investment, she knew her retirement was secured and she had something to leave to her children. The partner never really got to invest for the family.

"As years passed and his age mates were doing well, he realised he was out of step. Long after my apartment was fully paid for is when he discussed investment with me. 'What kind of investment can we seriously undertake?' he asked. I generously gave him the options the financial experts had shared. When I was done, he asked where such staggering amounts were to be mined from?"

She said if she had depended on the head of the family to map out their future, they would have ended up miserable. Luckily for her, she had lived up to what is expected of women; to use their gift of foresight to save something for the future; for the family.

Thus when the man in your life derails your plans for financial take off, do not give up. Never. Just look for another way to go about it. You will be a happier you.