I am not a genius on matters parenting and I cannot pretend to have a perfect manual, but I know some basics. If you have a child or children together, inasmuch as you may be on different pages when it comes to love, on matters parenting you need to read from the same script. Let me fill you in on an incident I witnessed recently.
My hubby and I went for dinner at Daisy and Mike Mutisos - our good family friends - who have two kids five-year-old girl and a seven-year-old boy.
This is what transpired. After the sumptuous meal, the boy wanted to have a soda. Now knowing that daddy is the softer parent, the boy came next to him and whispered the request.
“Yes you can go ahead and have a soda my son.” said Mike.
“No you cannot have the soda, you have tonsillitis and the doctor said no to sugary stuff,” interjected an irritated Daisy.
“No let the boy have the soda, it’s just today,” Mike pushed on, clearly determined to proof he is the head of the family.
Long story short, the small request from this boy degenerated into a volatile argument between two grown-ups; my hubby had to intervene.
Lesson one from this incident is that never engage in a fight in front of the kids, however angry you are.
Two, and the gist of this discussion is, on matters parenting, always fight from the same side. Now to avoid this small request degenerating into a senseless fight, Mike should have acted the bigger man and supported his wife because the poor boy had tonsillitis and was just from the doctor’s.
In our house, many times, my hubby and I have disagreed on what punishment should be meted on Tasha when she does wrong.
To ensure Tasha sees that we are fighting from the same front with his daddy, I have made sure I do not question his choice of punishment in front of her even when I strongly disapprove of it.
He also applies the same principle. If your partner executes a form of discipline that you are against, do not disapprove of it in front of the kids. Instead, wait until you are in a private space then express your sentiments.
In the case of Mutisos, Mike passed a message to the kids that mummy can be disobeyed because daddy has the final word. Parenting needs tact.