The season of love is here with us, once again and love is in the air! February, specifically Valentine’s Day, is when many lovers go an extra mile to express their feelings to their partners. Many will be seeking ways of affirming, appreciating and acknowledging their lovers and partners.
However, not everyone has the privilege of receiving love on this special day. Some dread the day, as it will be yet another reminder of how much they are not loved.
Joyce is an example. Every Valentine’s Day, all the ladies in her office receive flowers, chocolates and precious gifts. Not once has she received anything from the love of her life. Joyce says watching her colleagues being showered with gifts and love notes makes her feel unloved and rejected.
NO CHOCOLATES, NO LOVE
“Many times, I have contemplated sending myself flowers just to save face, but I have not yet gathered the guts to do this,” she says.
When her female colleagues boast about their love lives and gifts, Joyce has nothing to talk about because her partner is not the gifting type and Valentine’s Day holds no special significance to him. She hopes that she will one day know how it feels to receive a gift in the office.
Although expressing love is not constrained to a specific day, Valentine’s Day holds a special place in the history of love. So as this day approaches, prepare yourself to do something special to express your feelings to those you love.
It is, however, important to acknowledge that if your lover is not one who expresses love through gifts, it does not mean they love you any less. It may be a consolation for you to know that you are not alone. Many lovers find it difficult to buy roses, chocolates and other gifts because in their view, Valentine’s Day is commercialized celebration that has nothing to do with their feelings.
On the other hand, expressing love is not always about the big things. It is often the sum total of the small things we do every day. Saying ‘I love you’ is one thing and expressing love is another.
LOVE IS TOO DEEP
Love is a sense of joy about another person, and can be expressed with words and actions. Expressing love is making an effort to assure your loved one knows that they are greatly valued, appreciated and they are important to you.
How can anyone describe love in a few words? Scott Peck author of the book The Road Less Travelled says about love: “One result of the mysterious nature of love is that no one has ever arrived at a satisfactory definition of love.”
In his view, love is too large, too deep to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words.
Therefore, celebrating love doesn’t always have to be about gifts; it’s about showing your love through words and actions; being sensitive to your lover’s feelings and meeting them at their point of need daily.
The writer is a relationship coach and author of Marriage Built to Last. You can reach her on; www.jenniekarina.co.ke