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Stay happily married in 2014

Living

Husband and wifeIt is hard to believe that another 365 days are almost gone. For those of us who found the courage to finally walk away from an abusive spouse, I commend you. From what I hear, that road isn’t an easy one but looking back, you are at a better place than you were before. Here’s to your life of freedom from abuse.

Shake off those who still look disapprovingly of you for having freed yourself and embrace those who saw and understood your pain and your decision. Seek help from a counselor or pastor to ensure that you keep on the right road and make the adjustment properly.

 For those who finally had enough of a mediocre marriage and committed to kicking the boredom out of their marriage, I salute you. I’m sure you had successes and failures but I’m also sure that your marriage is much better for it. You’ve done a few things that you used to do together way back. The most important thing is to keep working at it.

For those who got married this year, congratulations and welcome to the shamba! Pick up your jembe because there’s a lot of work to be done. Cultivate the soil, plant the crop, weed, water it, and ensure that pests don’t destroy it.

If you find any traces of pests, get the right insecticide pronto! If you’re growing an organic garden, then find whatever you need to get rid of the pests because they cause serious havoc. When your crop begins to flower, protect the flowers from the vagaries of weather, too hot or too cold and the flowers will wither and die. So if anybody told you that marriage is a walk in the park, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but it isn’t; it is work, but the fruits are worth the effort.

My hope for 2014 is to hear none of young broken marriages. Marriages that break within the first few months or the first year were broken from the beginning. Find time to go for pre-marital counseling, count the cost before making the big jump. Then, when you do jump, don’t start complaining that nobody told you it would be this way because you’ve discovered that it needs work. Marriage is for grownups so take the time to grow up and everything should be fine.

 As Spencer W. Kimball says: “Soul mates are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.”

Happy 2014 from my house to yours. Looking forward to happier marriages in the coming year.

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