Redefining the ideal wife

Many people in our society think that a good wife is one who can persevere, who can take all manner of mistreatment, infidelity, abuse and neglect while she puts up a smile as though everything is okay. If she dares to leave, she is judged harshly. No wonder many women don’t like their husbands, leave alone love them.

Why do women persevere? What happened to, "the husband shall love and respect the wife the way Christ loved the Church"? Why should we educate our girls to become engineers and doctors among others just for her to be bashed and be emotionally abused? These are some of the reasons why many young women don’t want to get married. It is becoming more difficult to convince girls to get married for love. Most of them believe love does not exist, otherwise why would their fathers treat their mothers the way they do? They don’t want to end up like their mothers — trapped in a loveless marriage then dumped for a newer model when they are too old to start a fresh.

Most women in love get married with the noble intention of taking care of their husbands and bringing up a happy family. After years of neglect and constantly being put down, they fall out of love but stick to the marriage because a good wife perseveres.

I have met women who wish and pray for unpleasant things to happen to their husbands. One woman’s prayer is that he crushes in a road accident and dies; another one wishes she could poison him slowly with all manner of things.

On discovering that her husband had impregnated the househelp, one woman organised for an abortion without the girl’s consent and then sent her packing without pay. The husband had to flee, as he could not figure out what was in store for him.

What I am saying is that when a woman is pushed to the wall, she could turn into a monster.

It is time we redefined the ideal wife, especially now that men can no longer keep housewives. I believe that marriage is a partnership, with the husband as the head of the household. Nobody should persevere ill treatment from the other. Young people should take their time before marriage, choose the right partner and commit the marriage to God in prayers.