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Grooms losing Authority

By - Malcolm Rex | October 13th 2012

By Malcolm Rex

As a well-meaning groom, the modernisation of our society is scaring me. What with technology dictating how much of a man I am? You well know how serious Kenya is taking up the matter by dedicating a whole city to technology. Maybe I’m ancient, but I have never fully subscribed to anything that dictates how much of a man I should be.

Traditionally, the society has clearly carved out my role replete with many titles; first and foremost, I’m the breadwinner. Okay, that role can be expanded with abandon to include the fellow who pays all the bills, puts in extra hours to keep the family in utter comfort. He should faithfully accomplish these duties unless he is seriously sick or worse, dead.

When a groom faithfully handles the above duties in a satisfactory manner, he gains a new title as the protector. Conversely, a groom who fails in these endeavours loses all the respect and the power to hold the household together. Things have since changed a great deal with the mamas excelling in these same areas, thus neutralising any claims of power the grooms wielded.

Today, thanks again to advancing technology, grooms are expected to share child-care tasks, help with household chores such as cleaning anything (baby included), and to show emotion and feelings, as well as to value their partner’s voice in decision-making. Now, if there are departments in which we are really deficient, it’s in showing emotions or feelings.

In fact, I’m also supposed to spend a good chunk of my time with Sweetheart, a tough call to make unless I negate my primary role, remember? Not that grooms don’t care, but society just forgot to inculcate the same qualities in us. I have no qualms with Sweetheart ‘winning’ the bread as well, but I long for the day I shall retain my rightful place in the society as the head of my house.


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