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Managing wedding planning stressors

By | December 31st 2011

By Esther Muchene

The last thing you probably need during your wedding planning period is people fretting over every issue like it’s their wedding.

In some cases, old wounds will resurface and fights will be re-fought making the whole process a pain rather than a blissful and joyous occasion. To ward off stress factors before they knock you out, below is a list of people you should watch-out for during this important stage.

Bridal party

Choosing a bridal party can be a nightmare for the bride. All your friends expect to be in the line-up at least if not to be the maid of honour. Your relatives also would want their children in the line-up not forgetting what your mother has to say about whoever’s daughter or son is to carry the ring. Determine what you desire and go for it.

When all is done and you have the perfect line-up, next come details such as picking outfits, payments and fittings. At such a time, your bridal party may either argue about your choice of colours, complain about the outfits not fitting their body shapes. Or that the suit or dress is too expensive. Some will wait till the eleventh only to show up when fitting or rehearsals. And the list goes on.

To prevent such, set the record straight. Lay out a plan on what your expectations are of them. Good news is they want you to be happy so they will try their best to do as you say.

Friends and family

They are capable of stressing you for all sorts of reasons. One, you want them to have the time of their lives, but you wonder what they will think about the cake, food, décor etc?

Secondly, you may be worried about Uncle Jay who goes crazy after a shot of his favourite drink and God knows what he has up his sleeve this time round.

Your friends will commit to do this or that on your wedding day only to go mteja and not bother to show up leaving everything in shambles.

They probably have your best interest at heart but who says they can’t disappoint? It’s always better to go with trusted companies who’ll deliver.


If not handled with caution, parents can run your wedding like it is theirs, especially if they are chipping in financially. This makes them feel they have the right to every decision made. Many parents have a knack for pushing buttons and this important occasion is no exception. At such a point, you need to support each other as a couple and be on the same side ensuring you set clear boundaries from the beginning. If you don’t like what is happening, raise it and feel free to say no. You only get married once so you better do it right.

Other people’s opinions

People will always have an opinion about everything you do and they probably won’t be afraid of raising them regardless of whom they may affect. It’s not a wonder to hear ridiculous comments such as, "oh no why did you have to pick that colour, can’t we work with pink instead?" or "what did you see in that venue?"… It’s too expensive why not consider blahblahblah…?’’ The best way to handle such situations is to ignore or laugh them off lest they cause unnecessary tension that could be easily avoided.

Each other

As surprising as this may sound, the person who will stress you the most is the person you will be spending the rest of your life with. Planning a wedding is not easy and this may cause stress. Common complaints I hear during this stage are, "all she does and talks about is wedding this, wedding that and it’s driving me up the wall."

And she will say, "He is not doing enough, is he as interested in all this as I am?" The secret here is to strike a balance. Communicate effectively; set clear tasks for each other and most importantly, set aside some time for the wedding talk, after that no more wedding discussions until the next time.

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