1. Reactingis hearing gossip or hearsay about your spouse and viewing your spousedifferently because of it. Responding is politely talking about the rumours withyour spouse to know the truth.

2. Reactingis when your spouse says something that upsets you and then you beat up yourspouse claiming your spouse provoked you. Responding is choosing to keep calmand walk away for a few minutes to avoid escalating things when your spouseupsets you.

<p><b>Reacting is judging your spouse when he/she shares something private or unpleasant. </b></p><p><b>Responding is listening to your spouse even when what is being shared is not easy, thus encouraging your spouse to trust you.</b></p>

3. Reactingis insulting, raping or demeaning your spouse when he/she chooses not to makelove to you when you are in the mood. Responding is respecting your spouseenough to still love even when there is no sex immediately you want it, youwill get it later.

4. Reactingis withholding your money or choosing to not provide for your children becauseof a misunderstanding with your spouse. Responding is meeting your obligationseven as you work on resolving issues.

5. Reactingis threatening divorce when you don't get what you want yet you don't mean it.Responding is solving conflicts without planting seeds of separation.

6. Reactingis judging your spouse when he/she shares something private or unpleasant.Responding is listening to your spouse even when what is being shared is noteasy, thus encouraging your spouse to trust you.

7. Reactingis accusing your spouse of cheating because he/she is friendly. Responding isgetting your facts right so that you don't accuse your spouse falsely.

8. Reactingis cheating on your spouse just because he/she cheated as you throw yourprinciples out of the window. Responding is refusing to allow your spouse tochange you for the worse

9. Reactingis wanting to commit suicide just because your spouse has hurt you. Responding isknowing that your spouse is not your God, just because your spouse is notloving you right does not mean it's the end of life.

10.Reacting is making marital decisions out of panic. Responding is taking time toreflect and pray before deciding.

11. Reactingis being controlled by circumstances and external voices and events. Respondingis being in control of your emotions, your next action and your future.

12.Reacting is blowing up a small issue into a never ending war. Responding is notexaggerating but mitigating issues quickly.

13.Reacting is sinking yourself in problems as you do more damage. Responding isassessing the situation and lifting yourself up.

Inmarriage, choose to respond, not to react. Reacting will cost you and do moreharm than good. In marriage, calm heads need to prevail.

 

© DayanMasinde

 

In my book,MANHOOD SERIES, I walk with men through the journey of understanding themselvesand their woman.

In my otherbook, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I walk with women through the journey of self-discoveryand how to relate with the man.

To purchasethe MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, thentext the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book willbe sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone orcomputer.

To purchasethe WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954,then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the bookwill be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phoneor computer