1. You rejoice when bad things happen to your spouse toteach him/her a lesson, you find satisfaction in saying the words "I toldyou so". Failing to realize that you two are a team.

<p><b>You feel unhappy when your spouse succeeds, earns more than you or chooses to advance in life. You try to clip the wings of your spouse.</b></p><p><b>You have to ruin your spouse's day when you see him/her happy because your spouse cannot be shining without you or more than you.</b></p>

2. When you succeed, you want to gloat and brag to yourspouse to make a statement. This is called spouse rivalry and it is unhealthy.

3. You feel bitter when your spouse is right and you lose anargument. You seek revenge to come out on top.

4. You try and remind your spouse that he/she is not aseducated as you. You may be more formally educated but you are very insecure.

5. You call your spouse names such as "spoiltbrat" just because he/she comes from a more privileged family andupbringing than you or has a better relationship with the parents.

6. You fail to show up for your spouse's achievement eventssuch as graduation or birthday, and even when you do attend, you want to blowyour own trumpet to steal the show.

7. When people say something good about your spouse, youhighlight what is negative about him/her.

8. You feel unhappy when your spouse succeeds, earns morethan you or chooses to advance in life. You try to clip the wings of yourspouse.

9. You have to ruin your spouse's day when you see him/herhappy because your spouse cannot be shining without you or more than you.

10. When you see your spouse getting along with people, youmake statements such as "You are such a people pleaser", "Lookat you pretending to be good"; because you want your spouse to have amiserable social life like you.

11. You ignore posts that your spouse makes online ofsuccess and feel uncomfortable when you see him/her getting compliments andlikes. You forget you are blessed to have him/her.

12. You keep looking for fights and arguments because youdon't want your spouse to be at peace. It bothers you that your spouse is happy.

Learn to be happy for your spouse. Your jealousy will keepyou from appreciating your spouse, your insecurities are holding back jointprogress in your marriage.

© Dayan Masinde

In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I walk with men through thejourney of understanding themselves and their woman.

In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I walk with womenthrough the journey of self-discovery and how to relate with the man.

To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde,MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address tothe same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you todownload and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde,MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email addressto the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you todownload and read on your phone or computer.