Adelle Onyango appreciates mom for walking out on abusive dad

By Diana Anyango | 3 months ago
Media personality Adelle Onyango.

Media personality Adelle Onyango has opened up her difficult childhood living with an abusive father. Sharing her story on her podcast channel Legallyclueless, the former radio presenter narrated how traumatized she was watching her father abuse her mother until she decided to walk away. This is after one of her listeners, Miriam, gave her own experience living in an abusive home. 

“I told Miriam this, but I will just repeat it. I am so thankful that she shared her story. It is so powerful and such an important story because I know it is not easy to be that vulnerable. I am also thankful on a deeper level because that was my lived reality for a few years until my mom left my dad. I think she left him when I was in, I think, class 5, class six…. But my dad was super abusive, like physically abusive.

“The anxiety that would come when I’d hear his car horn, like when he’d come home in the evening, it was intense. I was just thinking…. and Imagine at that age, I was thinking would he be violent today or will it be a peaceful night, silently trying to make a deal with God praying, ‘Please just let him be peaceful today, and I’ll make sure I do ABC, and I am so thankful that my mother left him. It was such a huge act of love for herself first and then a huge act of love for my sisters and I. When I look back, I’m just like I am so thankful she left him,” she said.

Childhood trauma 

Speaking on the effects of abuse, Adelle revealed that she consciously prevented herself from feeling angry. She always associated the emotion with the violence, confrontation, yelling, and screaming that made up her childhood. However, she stated that she is currently in therapy, getting professional help to heal from her childhood trauma and other things in between.

“I don’t know about other people or other countries, but here we have really normalized violent homes so much, and we ignore the effects it has. Not only on the spouse getting abused but on the kids. For instance, I remember once in therapy, it came up, and I realized people always tell me I’m never angry and you are always smiling. The truth is I am very scared of anger. This actually just came up in therapy. I am scared of anger; I am scared of confrontation.


A post shared by ADELLE ONYANGO (@adelleonyango)

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“And so if someone wrongs me, I will either just cut them off; by the way, blocking people and just cutting them off is the easiest thing I can do once I see we are heading in a direction where we will end up in a confrontation or worse off anger. I remember my therapist telling me I can communicate whenever someone angers me or when I get myself in a confrontation that I can communicate that without it getting abusive. For me, anger has always been synonymous to abuse, violence, confrontation, yelling, screaming, just a mess. I just stay away from such emotions and obviously many other things,” she continued.

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