Be smart about it [Photo: Courtesy]

What happens when a woman has a big crush on a man? Can she move up to the man and tell him exactly what she feels? Can she initiate the process with the sole intention of leading him home to the sack or have a fulfilling relationship?

Well, as a man, I have been led on by women from time to time. When a woman is tolerable or exceptional, fewer men can pass on the opportunity. I will not, obviously. However, when a woman hitting on a man is not within the range of his physical and psychological expectations, she always comes off as desperate or loose, mostly both.

The art of seduction is riddled with double standards. As a man, when I see a beautiful woman and I feel she fits my bill, I will examine my options. I will look at her nose to see if she is approachable. The nose is the international standard symbol of measuring snootiness in a woman. If angular, I will weigh my options. Snobbish women are a turn-off, regardless of how beautiful a woman is. If then she has an approachable face, I will approach her confidently. Rejection is part of the business, so I’m always rational.

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On the other hand, women have no similar privileges. However much their heart hankers after a man in her social circles, be it in the church, school or the workplace, society frowns upon the idea. It is men who hunt women. While a few bolder ones can go after what their heart wants, we end up labelling them as cougars, desperate and other demeaning names.

Smile [Photo: Courtesy]

But women have desires. And we live in a modern free world. Except that men have not changed much. They still prefer the traditional way, even though alcohol has helped cut down the chase pretty almost completely. So what is a woman to do? For me, if a woman really wants a man, all she needs to do is make herself approachable and available.

There is an alchemy, a near metaphysical exchange that happens between two individuals who can potentially love each other or have an affair when they are within a setting. Even when they are strangers. It is there in the hug. In the smile. In the first exchange of words when you meet.

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Most women have this habit of making themselves inapproachable even when their heart aches for a man across the room. Smile. When he attempts a conversation give him a chance. Please. Equally, make yourself available, without being desperate. Desperation is a big repellant of men. When a man sees a desperate woman, he sees a sticky woman. Or a woman who does not have standards. She has been passed around a couple of times. No matter what, a woman must retain a semblance of pride in her. Part of the kick in seduction is tearing that pride down to her heart.

So there you have it. Smile. Be approachable. Be available. Never act desperate. Retain your pride. And here is the thing, if a man does not feel you, even if you are a naked Kim Kardashian, he will not care. So be wise, read the signs. If he can’t pick the signal, then, either he does not want you. Or he is daft.