My husband and I are fighting
I had a lot of fun when I was dating, and I will admit I was a bit of a handful. Forever playing hard to get, and quickly dropping any guy who could not cope with my moods. Though actually, that was one of the reasons I chose my husband. Because he stayed through thick and thin! But now we are married, and lots of things have gone wrong during our first few years together. We are arguing a lot, about all the usual things. And some bad things have happened like I was out of work for a bit. It has all been very frustrating; we are both ill-tempered, and I sometimes wonder where that wonderful man who could cope with all my moods went! How can we get along better?
Hi Tough Times!
Playing hard to get while you are dating is not such a bad idea, but your best strategy now is to be easy to live with. I do not mean you should turn into a doormat, and in any case, your husband should also be trying to make your life as pleasant as possible.
Both of you should aim at being kind, considerate and patient. Like when he calls to say he is working late. Resist the temptation to complain, and instead promise to be extra nice to him when he gets home.
That way he will come as soon as he can. Because if you want a happy marriage it is important to avoid bickering. Focus instead on why you react the way you do to what he does. And treat him exactly the way you want him to be.
Do you want him to be faithful? Then trust him. Being endlessly suspicious poisons even the best relationship. He is not paying you enough attention? Do not complain, instead try to be extra nice and extra welcoming. Then he will spend more time with you because you are still the lovely girl he dated.
In those days you did things to please him, so he would want you. So what has changed? You will still fight of course. But be open to his point of view. It is easy to feel yours is the only way to see things. But do things his way sometimes.
He will be much more worried about losing you if you are wonderful to have around. And give your love life a high priority. Be flexible and adventurous, because you really will be happier if you have a good sex life.
It strengthens your commitment to one another, he will think about you more, be less likely to stay out late and will always want to be with you. This way, you are less likely to get bad-tempered.
Above all, always be pleased and flattered when your husband snuggles up to you - then he will never think about going anywhere else! Best of all, he will always take care of you, because he truly loves you. So love being loved. Relaxed, secure and adored. And he will never leave you.
All the best,