Try to be a free spirit [Photo: Shutterstock]

When it comes to dating I try to be a free spirit. I have always tried to keep my deal-breakers to a minimum, with my major ones being: jobless, married or short men. That has generally been my thing for a great number of years. But recently, I finally got enlightenment with regard to dating mummy’s boys, whom I previously ranked highly on my ‘Mr Right’ list.

After many unfortunate relationship disasters in my ambitious attempts to make mummy’s boys work, it finally dawned on me, that the problem was not me. I was trying hard to make it work, but I realised it could never work because two queens cannot rule one kingdom.

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Forget the rumours that have been there since time in memorial that mama’s boys make the best choices for a husband because they know how to treat a woman. It is all hogwash, all lies I have come to learn. The truth is that mama’s boys do not know how to treat women well. They only know how to treat their mamas well! Period.

Mama’s opinion

I have gone down this dead-end road many times in my dating life, always hoping for a rainbow at the end of the tunnel and all I got was a lady who scorned me from the high pedestal that her son placed her on.

And I am not saying that a woman should always run in the opposite direction whenever a man shows love for his mother. In fact, I believe the relationship between a mother and son is great. However, there is a difference between a man who cares and loves his mother and a man who makes his mother the queen of his life and gives her free rein to run it, leaving no room for another woman.

There is nothing good about mothers who smoother their boys to the point where they cannot tie their own shoelaces without mama’s opinion. Or if mama is somewhere in the background cheering them on, that is definitely not sexy.

It is bad enough having to fight with another woman for your man, but it is another thing to have to fight his mother, the same woman who carried him for nine months and practically gave him life. You cannot win that war. It is akin to entering into a fighting ring with someone you know has ten times your strength.

Unhealthy dependence

Who is a mummy’s boy? The kind of man who calls his mother throughout the day, including before calling you with any big news. Tells his mama all his secrets and personal information regarding his relationship, does not trust any other woman except his mama and thus values her opinion and advice more than his woman’s.

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To add salt to the injury, he is the type of man who is always quoting his mother’s ‘wise’ words or comparing you to her. And the worst crime a mama’s boy commits is his inability to defend his woman from his mother. Reason? In his eyes, his mother can never ever be wrong.

These days I sprint not jog when I notice a man with an unhealthy dependence on his mother. So my advice to any woman out there who is dating or considering dating a mummy’s boy, walk away and never look back. Because all you will be is a third wheel and not a partner!