You have been dating this guy for a while, and it has reached that point in the relationship where he is comfortable enough to ask the question that we women dread most, “So how many sexual partners have you had?” This is one of those questions that every woman dreads most. There is no right or correct answer. So if you are not a connoisseur at changing conversations, as a woman you only have three options; lie, lie or lie!
This is nothing new; it is something women have been doing since time immemorial. Probably since the days of Delilah, when we discovered that men will always apply double standards when judging women on matters to do with sexuality. Basically, while men are celebrated by society for bedding every Mary, Martha and Penelope without discretion, women are expected to be virgins or at least to have only bedded one man; a former lover (you are only expected to have had one or two exes). However old a woman may be, she is always expected to have had one or, if she is very adventurous, two former lovers. So, assuming one has been around quite a bit, how does one come up with an acceptable number?
Firstly, the number a woman quotes usually depends heavily on the personality of the man she is dating. Thus, the number depends on how conservative or worldly a woman thinks the man asking is.
I’m a virgin
If he is the ‘church-ish’ type, then you know the number needs to go down. But to pull off the ‘I-am-a-virgin’ lie you have to be an actress of Oscar-worthy proportions to get away with it. And if he is a worldly man, then the number can go up, but still, as a woman you have to be very careful and intuitive to make sure the number of men you quote doesn’t exceed his. Lest he starts looking at you differently.
It all has something to do with male ego, apparently the real number of women a man has bedded is supposed to be more than that of his woman, especially if he plans to marry her! Further, as a woman, bear in mind the number you quote is at times multiplied by three. Guys, before you throw stones, I put it to you that women lie for a good reason; to ensure peace, love and unity prevails, otherwise if we were to say the exact number you would judge us harshly. Yet we never do the same when you tell us the tens of women you have slept with.
The simple reality is that men cannot handle the truth. So the white lie was create for them. Yes, I do agree that in any relationship, your sexual past must be shared to a certain extent, and that visiting the VCT together is a safe bet. But a man has no right to know your number. Men cannot handle the truth when it comes to a woman’s sexual past. Men are happy to live in a bubble, so what do we women do, we make sure the bubble is not burst.
Do not be fooled no matter how worldly or secular a man is, they can never really handle the truth, this is one of those things you take to the grave. It is one of those situations where everyone is happy with a lie!