Be considerate [Photo: Shutterstock]

If during creation men had the option to choose between common sense and a huge penis, you can bet that all of them would go for endowment between their legs. Men would trade anything in the world for an ‘anaconda’ in their trouser zippers for the ladies to marvel at. They believe this is what makes a woman tick.

Maybe women are to blame; the big shlong praise reverberates across the land, perpetuated by women, who would even picket, complete with placards to emphasize its importance. But is that really what women want, or is it another one of their BS, like the “we want equal responsibility” chorus?

Truth is, a big penis - thicker in girth and greater in length than an average male organ - only works in theory. In reality, men blessed with such huge organs get laid way less than the average or tiny-sized guy.

Rarely would you hear of women walking out of a sex session because the man had the tiniest of manhoods. They get on with it because it isn’t intimidating and would leave everything intact. But every day, we hear stories of women fleeing hotel rooms after being ambushed by dangling missiles with pneumatic drilling qualities.

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It’s not a fun thing laying with someone who is well hung [Photo: Shutterstock]

It’s not a fun thing laying with someone who is well hung, it’s a tedious and expensive chore! If she is brave enough not to give you the “I am on my menses” excuse as soon as you drop your pants, prepare yourself for hours and hours of foreplay; because the woman has to be fully - mentally and physically - prepared to be torn to shreds by the coiled monster! You will have to literally negotiate with him when he gets at the vaginal door, for him to be gentle or just graze in passing.

A jar of lube can be exhausted just on this part alone, expensive right?  Then comes the stretching and the pain. The woman often has to lie still and very stiff, taking no part whatsoever in what is anything, but lovemaking. She can’t dare move because everything is just sore and painful, kinda like a baby trying to crawl back inside her.

The man would be lucky to get in all the way and can be assured that there wouldn’t be any round two. The woman would need a few days to recover from the ordeal! Women may want to just chalk this for experience and may wild-ride one or two times just to have a story to tell their girlfriends. But if we are to be honest, no one wants that humongous limb pureeing their insides every single day of the rest of their lives, nor greasy sheets smelling of cheap lubricants!

Yes, size does matter, but not in the way you think. The bigger it is, the more horrifying the torture for most women. Yes, there are those who can swallow extra-large stuff, but a majority are those who will definitely pass it up for a smaller-sized member. Other than the fact that penetration is an absolutely horrifying experience as described above, there are so many other fun stuff that you cannot enjoy with a big-sized lover.

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They are overconfident and cocky [Photo: Shutterstock]

Blowing him is out of the question unless you want to dislocate your jaw in the process! Experimenting with different styles is also a no-no because everything gets too uncomfortable and painful. So, you are left with the good old missionary. And even that isn’t done to perfection. You would most likely grimace in pain instead of moan in pleasure; eyes shut tight and not in an orgasmic way, your legs tightly wound around the man to prevent him going any further than your pain tolerance can allow. The man has to be extra gentle and careful at all times as if he is disarming a bomb and thus the fun in it is just gone.

Most often than not, the woman won’t even orgasm after all that horror because she is too distracted and not feeling herself. So, these men don’t even get the best sex as a woman cannot be her usual relaxed self.

Though, if men with big penises make an effort to acquire great sex skills, women would maybe try to bear with all the inevitable wear and tear on their lady parts. Unfortunately, these endowed men are rarely good lovers.

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They are overconfident and cocky as they have been raised to believe they have the greatest tool in the world and as such, never put an effort into anything else. Thinking their penises are the 8th wonder to be marvelled upon, they don’t really get down and dirty during foreplay.

They believe a woman will be impressed by their goodies so much that they don’t challenge themselves in other departments like oral sex. Their job is to just rush to the penetration stage so that you can experience their tool of wonder. So, an unprepared vagina versus a gigantic schlong is definitely a recipe for disaster.  And no one wins. A beefy curse is what a big penis is!