[Photo: Courtesy]

Dear Uncle Ted

I am 27-year-old and a mother of one. I left my husband of three years after endless battering while we lived in Nakuru. I relocated to Nairobi’s Eastlands and started a saloon.

I swore never to love again but I bumped on this 31-year-old bachelor who treats me well that I am smitten but he is unwilling to marry me yet he has no girlfriend.

He is good in bed and even when I urge him to ‘spit’ in when I am safe, he declines. He claims to love me. How do I trap him? Cynthia

Hey Cynthia

The fact is you love his gentlemanship and his gymnastics and you want him to dive in and stay there forever.

Dada, this dude’s ‘roho mtaka kitu’ is strong but he is either a mama’s boy fearing to take responsibilities, or a cunning ?si in a sheep’s skin.

Try this out. Visit him when your eggs are mad and make sure you’ve put on a G-string, not the kaptula-looking grey panties that only a grandmother would fancy.

Cook for him and start teasing him and get him in the mood. When he starts promising you the Times Tower, unleash the beast in you.

If ‘pours out,’ kick his marbles, break his TV and run while shouting, “Hakijui hii mchezo” and post the same on Kilimani Mums.