Masturbation, to those who still have the privilege of sanity; the ones who have never explored the gravity of self-sexual pleasure: don’t even consider just thinking about it. To those who have: you know what I am talking about. Masturbation is insanely addictive. We have all heard (and even experienced) the truth behind the statement: ‘easier said than done,’ there is no better illustration of these four words than in the numerous stories and solutions given to conquer this self-destructive menace and trying to implement the real process. Engage me- anyone who is so deep into this stuff, take a moment, and try recalling how it all began (any idea? Yes?); lucky you. All I can remember about my inception into it is that intense feeling I had never felt before. The feeling was two sided, but concurrent at the same time. The first was the kind of relief you have when you empty your bladder after being pressed for hours. The kind of ‘pressed’ that renders you ‘bent forward’ and all fidgety until the release. The Second phase is a feeling out of this world (you know how hard it is to describe orgasm, at least my brother Ogolla managed a ‘heaven seven’ and got away with it). That is the reason as to why everyone who masturbates; the intensely sweet feeling, and the relaxation of the sexual tension that comes along with it.

I know there are a million reservations concerning masturbation, some have (googly scientific) reason to prove its viability, others have (also googly scientific) reason to disprove its viability. I am writing out of my own experience, all googly science notwithstanding. There is no point in time where reason, theoretical prowess, even intellect and all have outweighed experience; as a matter of fact, all those are based on experience and those who have the eloquence to bring out any of the two sides of the coin, however knowledgeable they would sound; no one who has never masturbated can ever understand masturbation-ask me. I have been on both sides of the worlds, where someone comes to you almost on his knees groaning of how difficult it is to conquer, and you look at them with those holier than thou haughty eyes but utter empty words of “I understand what you going through”, then go, read a lot about masturbation then come out in the open talking about it(to them) like you own it- I have been there; and yes, I have also been here, where you are now in that shoe and you don’t even have the guts to tell anyone for the fear of them having not experienced it, that fear is informed by the fact that you were once on the side of the ridge, and you know just how judgmental you were, so you don’t want anyone to have the pleasure of judging you the way you judged someone else.

Instant gratification is the pandemic of our generation, and this is what is causing all the chaos we are experiencing. The inability to deny oneself instant, temporary, lustful needs (I have always had the problem of differentiating ‘temporary’ from ‘lust’ or ‘lust’ from ‘temporary’ because one is the description of another, while the other is the best example of the other). Come to think of it- sex before marriage leading to early pregnancy and STD’s, teens growing wild in clubs (oh no adults are the real culprits), unfaithfulness in marriages, guys killing guys for a girlfriend (all of whom are probably into each other for purposes of that momentary pleasure), kids born out of wedlock and/or beside (on the side of) wedlock…. You ask why a man, married to a beautiful, intelligent wife would cheat on her with a… (Not meant to demean anyone) skinny house help, with no sense of ‘sexiness’ who can hardly construct a full sentence in Swahili? There, you have your answer-Instant gratification; that momentary satisfaction that has absolutely no consideration as to future consequence. Speak of crimes of passion, that need to execute instantaneous revenge over a person, the need to see him suffer as you did, the temporary realization that he also has the displeasure of agony, that kind of need gives no thought as to  the life sentence awaiting you after you kill that man, even the fact that those children you love so much will grow without a father is immaterial at that very moment, the danger of divorce after your wife realizes you cheated on him, a family that took you all forms of everything to crumble down. “Are we still talking about masturbation here?” **wink (I know) and yes, we are… that is exactly the nature of masturbation, instant gratification, and, yes, the effects are worse than any I just mentioned… yes, including having to spend your life in prison. I will illustrate how.

Masturbation, just like any other good or bad habit is a mind thing. Masturbation conquers the mind, and it goes without saying that anything (or anyone) that has conquered your mind has definitely conquered you. It starts with just a bit of the mind, something you can easily brush off, then it goes half way, then occupies the whole mind, here now, you lose control of your mind and give (control) to it; ready to meet all its demands. You can almost feel it. It is something that is always on your mind but it’s not always active owing to its temporary nature. It’s like that bully in high school, he is always present in school but you only feel his wrath when he makes a demand but has his own times of making that one demand. Once the demand is made, it is upon you, the bullied to find the necessaries that will help you meet the demand. Masturbation too could be analogized in the exact same way; when the demand knocks, it is upon you, the slave, to meet the demand; find a silent and private place (we all know rule number one of masturbation is “never get caught”), download whatever the hell you have to download while enduring the patience of slow internet streaming, then do it, it is also you, the slave, to endure the tiresome day awaiting you, to grapple with self-pity, low self-esteem and consistent lust episodes where you will have to literary undress every lady at the scope of your view; It is tiring, it is demeaning as a man who has no ego to choose taste, everything that you set your eyes on goes all the way for your mind . So,  the hand and penis are just a response of an order executed from the brain, that order, my friend, is so irresistible and it stays with you for as long as you are with your head, it starts in the morning, men know, that involuntary ‘hard on’ that is supposed to suggest that you are a healthy man. So (I am assuming you are trying to get rid of it) so you’ll fight it off (I hear some go for a jog to calm it all down), but the order is still at the back of your mind, something like a reminder with a five minute snooze. There is nothing more tempting than anything (temporarily) lucrative making persistent passes at you, it comes with all sorts of goodies, the imagination of your crush, the goose bumps, until you finally give in.

Now, masturbation, just like any other form of lust calls for more, what was appealing this minute will not appeal the next minute and the next and the next, masturbation also has its accompaniments, it starts out as an innocent imagination prank, then advances. It’s like a beast, the more you feed it, the more it grows, and, the more it grows, the more it wants, not more only in terms of quantity but more in terms of the quality, not just quality, but quality in terms of diverse variety. Starving it on the other hand is disastrous, it starts consuming you, now that you are the only food (You ask how? Keep reading). Masturbation is like a god you serve as a slave. This god is surrounded by little goddesses-porn is the chief assistant goddess. It is possible to have people, who watch porn but don’t masturbate, but it is impossible to find masturbators who don’t watch porn, and, if they are there, then it’s just a matter of time; the porn journey’s knocking. It is why masturbation is the chief, because every slave of it must come with an assistant who will help enhance the ‘service delivery’ because, it doesn’t take long before masturbation sends for an order.   Something like a simple need,   then… (for more advanced culprits now), getting to lit erotica, reading that sexual fantasy story (while imagining its real), the feeling of your  hands on that skin… all you want to do is just kind of bring it and maintain that cum under your penal skin (so that it doesn’t come out as fast ), hence lengthen your pleasure, going to that site, downloading your best since every porn addict has a level and a kind-depending on the depth of his perversion-some are good with just a simple kiss or something nude would easily get them off, even men and women who sharply condemn gay-ism are culprits of hungrily enjoying lesbian sex and male-male sex, others have ebony appetites, some shaky stuff here and there, others like cheating husbands and wives, others want it real and hidden, others just like watching the opposite sex masturbate, others just hearing the audio voices and dirty talk is enough  others have since grown numb to the most obscene(but normal) encounters of human sex and can only now orgasm at incest sex including mother-son, others are past that and can only be gratified by human-animal sex, the depths go on and on.