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Panicking teachers brace selves for hell as new tyrannical deputy threatens ‘side hustles’


Teachers in office

Meta Meta has a new deputy principal. Schola, our rumour mill caretaker, as early as last term had tipped Donatta of looming changes in the school administration. She had, however, sworn her to secrecy. Donatta, finding it selfish to keep such hot ‘muchene’ to herself,  had whispered the news to another member in strict confidence.

As it happens with all secrets, the rumour spread like the Ebola virus in record time. Everyone, including Jezebel in the kitchen, knew that Okonkwo was being demoted for poor performance. The rumour that had gone viral was responsible for the full-house opening staff meeting. Many were shocked to find Okonkwo chairing.

“Just wait and you will see,” had been Schola’s standard reply to queries about the credibility of her sources. And she kept us posted. Apparently the Depa had been transferred and Okonkwo was uncomfortable with her replacement.

He had been scheming to have Dean elevated to the post while Annette was being groomed to take over as the new dean. Some members of staff are rumoured to have prayed and fasted in a bid to block such an arrangement.

Last week on Tuesday, we received a text from Okonkwo’s secretary directing us to attend the break time staff briefing without fail. “Where are the doubting Thomas’s now?” asked Schola as soon as she read the text. During the briefing, Okonkwo introduced the new deputy principal, Madam Josephine. She was joining us from a CDF secondary school. Having introduced us and assured her of our maximum support, it was her turn to greet the staff.

As soon as she opened her mouth, we knew we were in trouble. She said that she was looking forward to working with us and expressed her disappointment at Meta Meta’s KCSE mean score. “As your immediate supervisor, I will work hard to ensure that Meta Meta regains her position among the leading county schools,” she declared. Noting that time tabling was in her docket, she hinted at possible changes.

“Your time table is not student friendly, and that may, in a way, explain why your school has been unable to go beyond a mean score of six. The principal has agreed to purchase computer software that will enable us to come up with professionally-acceptable lesson distributions,” she noted as she took out a white handkerchief to wipe her face.

I heard Donatta mumble something about transfer forms. She, Donatta, runs a boutique at the shopping centre. Sometimes, she exchanges her lessons whenever there is need to rush to Gikomba market for ‘camera’ outfits. Meanwhile, I saw Thunder wearing a sly smile, and I knew his mind was deep in a plot to make life difficult for the new deputy.

Thunder has a matatu christened ‘Tsunami’ which plies Thika Road. Tsunami, like any other matatu has the unbecoming habit of demanding his immediate attention at very inappropriate moments; like when in the lab demonstrating Newton’s theory of gravity.

“We are finished,” screamed Schola as soon as Okonkwo left the staffroom with Madam Deputy in tow. “We will see how far this ‘Wangu wa Makeri’ will go,” hissed Thunder.

We were all amused by his ability to come up with a nickname for the new Depa at such short notice. And it fitted her as neatly as a swim suit! “Are you planning to put Wangu Wa Makeri in the family way like your forefathers are rumoured to have tried, but in vain?” asked Vasco Da Gama with mock seriousness. “Tumeona wengi. Nawametuwacha hapa!” was Thunder’s cryptic reply. “Ati, a computer generated timetable? I won’t allow anyone to touch Friday afternoon off,” vowed Aeneas. With ‘Wangu wa Makeri’ as Depa, interesting times lie ahead for Meta Meta.

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