Each time a ‘big’ man dies, Kenyans are treated to drama, with one or two women claiming he fathered their kids.
Basically, a man sowing one or two wild oats is almost normal and a reality that many women are slowly learning to live with.
But if a recent email to this magazine’s ‘Agony Aunt’ is anything to go by, then women will have to be on very high alert.
There is a new breed of bachelors and even some married men who go round siring children with different women.
The distraught woman, who we shall only identify as Caro, complained that she had just learnt with shock that her dodgy baby daddy had sired children with three other women.
“I need your advice on whether to approach the other women, plan a meeting with them to compare and exchange notes, with a possibility of forming a tag team on how to handle the evasive man. He is irresponsible and I suspect he neither provides the upkeep for his other children,” wrote a furious Caro.
She revealed that despite the “sperm donor” having sired a string of “illegitimate” children across town, he was yet to settle down and was decidedly downbeat about marriage.
Upon nosing around, it turns out that the man is not alone but in great company.
Does every man itch for polygamy?
A hushed word with women revealed that there is a growing number of men who now sleep around, siring babies out of wedlock before vanishing.
Others hang around but play cat and mouse over child support.
“This breed of men is seemingly the most fertile, yet most irresponsible. Put differently, they are always itching for polygamy, but their means just can’t afford the luxury. This renders them, mere sperm donors or closet polygamists,” scoffed Harriet Muli, a self-declared feminist.
So if you thought Asentus Akuku Danger, the most popular Kenyan polygamist who is reported to have married 130 times, divorced more than 80 of his wives and sired more than 200 children — was one of a kind, think again.
There could be way too many men out here who are desperately trying to emulate if not outdo Akuku, albeit secretly.
Take, for instance, a certain Jack*, who, rather casually, told this writer that besides his four official children, he has fathered other 11 out of wedlock.
32-year-old with eight children
To make matters worse, he owned up that he is neither involved in raising them nor supporting them financially, citing financial constraints.
He said something to the effect that four kids are already a headache to him and if he was to be involved in raising the other 11, his life would be a living hell.
Nosing around farther, this writer was introduced to a relatively young man, based in Nairobi’s Roysambu estate, with a strange story.
He, however, was not willing to talk to media until he was assured of anonymity.
At the ‘tender’ age of 32, Max* has sired eight children with six different women. His children are aged between two and eight years.
“I have been at it for a while now. I began making babies way back in campus when I was only 23,” he giggled, as he playfully stroked his goatee.
He said the first time a woman with whom he had been fooling around told him she was pregnant was when he was a First Year in the university years ago.
“That was the most shocking news I had ever received. I panicked. Luckily, the woman was from a well-off family and never bothered me for financial assistance,” said the former Kenyatta University student.
To Max, when it rains, it pours. He said he got another woman pregnant that very first year in the university. By the time he had done four years at the institution, he had fathered three children with three different female students.
Cat and mouse games over child support
Asked how close or involved he is in the upbringing of his children, he said: “Besides the two I got from my then live-in girlfriend, who could not stand me and left last year, I hardly participate in raising the rest.”
Max, an electronic appliance technician, said he was not in good shape financially, and some of the women he has children with understand it so they hardly put a lot of pressure on him.
“My relationship with some of the women ended acrimoniously, following misunderstandings over child support. But others understand my circumstances and never bother me because they asked for the babies, anyway,” he said.
“At some point after campus I had a lady who I requested to abort, but she insisted she had been yearning for a baby from me and was going to keep it, only for her to start disturbing me later and asking for financial support. That was not the first time such was happening,” Max added.
Max went on to regale this writer with tales of circumstances under which some of his women trapped him.
Without admitting that indeed he is a Casanova, he confessed to having it very easy with women, partly because of his light complexion, stunning looks and athletic body.
“Some of them throw themselves at me. Others openly tell me all they want is to have cute babies with me,” he said, amid a cheeky grin.
He said he made it clear that he had no money and in some cases, his women had procured abortion.
The few who refuse to terminate their pregnancies end up carrying the pregnancies to full term, resulting in the big number of children to his name.
“As a man, sometimes you sow wild oats on a Saturday and come Sunday, you go to church and pray for crop failure! For me, this backfires most of the times.
“But when I insist on termination of pregnancy, they refuse and that’s how we always differ. Such was the case in two of the incidents,” he explained.
Siring many kids is most men’s dream?
Max said it was never his wish to sow wild oats, but most happened by accident.
When asked about the use of contraceptives or sheathing up when at it, he scoffed:
“I just can’t use protection. I find it cumbersome and very inconveniencing.”
As to whether the women know that they have such a huge family of half-siblings out there, the supposedly randy young man said his immediate former girlfriend knows two of the women and their kids exist.
“My immediate ex used to live with me and was keen on my lifestyle. She knew I had two women with kids out there. I, however, can only imagine if I was to organise for all of them to meet, it would be one hell of a family reunion,” chuckled Max.
Sounding remorseful, max said he never intended to be a benevolent sperm donor that he is.
But he argued, “Things just happened.”
Besides the embarrassment of not being able to support the children financially, Max somehow still finds being a father of many children something worth being proud of.
He argues that sowing wild oats is a man thing and many men are always itching to be like him, but lack the kind opportunities he gets.
The technician, whose loins seem to be on fire all the time, said he, however, does not intend to continue making babies with random women.
He hopes to soon get a better-paying job, settle down and start a legitimate family.