The period right after a break up is arguably one of the worst times you can emotionally go through. It is fair to say plenty of us have been affected in very real ways.
So what can we do to feel better when we find ourselves in such an undesirable position? From getting off social media to creating space for some ‘me time’, here are seven things you should do right after a break up.
1. Remove, block, delete
This may come across as somewhat extreme but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the method. And yet it’s one people don’t or can’t bring themselves to do. I’m not friends with my exes and here’s why you don’t have to be with yours
But what does it involve and how should you maintain a total shutdown of ties? Let’s list the basics: Facebook, block; Twitter, block, Instagram, block; mobile number, delete; text messages and WhatsApp conversation, delete.
Then breath a sigh of relief, because now there’s no temptation to check-in on them (aka spy on your ex).
And hopefully they’ll block you on Twitter and Instagram too, so that eradicates the temptation.
2. Take a break from social media
This is related to the above and a big ask for some addicts – just take a moment and step back from the screen.
Get off Twitter because there will be little reminders here and there. Whether it’s mutual friends tagging you in conversations or mentioning your ex, you just don’t need that right now. Log off for a couple of days and chill.
3. Box it up
Inevitably, there will be various items of clothing, DVDs, toiletries, and makeup that litter your bedroom and general living space.
Simply get a box and lob everything into it. Optionally, seal and pop it in the laundry room.
Out of sight, out of mind and all that jazz.
4. Screw sentimentality
Similarly, you’ll have photos on your noticeboard, tickets from that gig you both went to, as well as gifts from over the course of the relationship. In my experience, keeping these things does absolutely no good – especially if you’ve broken up on particularly bad terms. You don’t want to be seeing reminders that trigger you.
Chuck everything that you either don’t use/need, or can’t keep without turning into a quivering wreck, in the bin. I’m serious. If it’s things you really don’t want, but don’t want to throw out because they’re worth something, put them on sale. At least that way you get some satisfaction (and money) out of it.
5. Plan the rest of the month around you
Breaking up with someone can often leave you feeling at a loose end. Combine that with an uncontrollable swirl of emotion, it’s really easy to become lonely and, in extreme cases, regretful. Don’t let yourself become a victim here. Don’t ask if you’ve done the right thing – you have, trust me.
Make a list of what you like doing and what you’ve got in the immediacy of your home: it might be to binge on a series or four on Netflix, watch films, play video games, read, write, clean, cook, anything.
My point is, make sure you keep yourself busy by engaging in achievable activities you enjoy. If you’ve got mates who are half-decent, they’ll encourage you to socialise after hearing about your split. So meet them for drinks, go on a night out, or pop somewhere for lunch. There’s plenty you can do on your own, too.
Get back into your gym routine, it’s honestly the most therapeutic activity you can do as you forget your woes for a solid hour each day. Also, you’ll mentally and physically feel better for forcing yourself there.
6. Focus on the job
Yes, literally this. As much as getting stuck into your work may feel like a chore, it can massively benefit you. If you enjoy your job – and there are some of us out there who do, believe me – then organise days and time around it. It can often be a great distraction; and if you work with others, it’ll offer a nice opportunity to interact with others.
Being able to put your efforts into something can be productive both in terms of getting work done and looking good at your profession, as well as keeping your mind active and healthy.
7. Talk to someone
If you’re unable to carry on with your day-to-day activities in the immediate days and weeks, then there’s no harm in talking things through. And it can be with a parent, family member, friend, a therapist, or with mates online (yes, that last option is real and viable in 2017).
Having a chat and a literal or metaphorical shoulder to cry on will lift the burden of sadness and confusion, offering some respite.