Last week on Sunday, I woke up to an interesting WhatsApp message. A friend had sent me the picture of a certain lady who had bought her husband a car worth Sh10 million. Below the photo, my dear friend had captioned, “This is the kind of woman men are looking for today.”
I must say I was impressed by the woman. Firstly, because she had a spending income worth millions, and secondly that she choose to spend all that on her man. But at the back of my mind, I kept thinking something must be wrong with the woman and she needs to have her head examined. I mean, who does that! You’ve got to be nuts.
See, I have never believed in buying men overly-expensive gifts. It is one of those codes of conduct that I live by. Even though I like to think of myself as a modern and independent woman, my rules in regard to how men and women gift each other are cast in stone.
A lot of social research reveals that women who pamper their men end up being cheated on or mistreated in the end. Ever wondered why ‘kept’ men tend to be very notorious when it comes to cheating. Many tales have been told of such types who entertain their other women using money from their ‘keepers’.
Look girls, since time immemorial women have received gifts from men and the moment you go against the norm, you are likely to make your life miserable. But before you get your knickers in a twist and start labeling me a Grinch, allow me to explain. The politics of buying gifts for your man can be very complicated.
Well, it’s okay to surprise him with a small present once in a while. However, methinks, as a woman, if you develop the habit of pampering your man with ‘big’ gifts every now and then, chances are you will end up ‘spoiling’ and emasculating him. To borrow street parlance, atamea pembe!
Girls, men were not meant to receive lavish gifts from women; it is supposed to, and has always been, the other way round, period.
If men insist that they want to be wooed and pampered with gifts, then they should let women wear the pants in relationships.
Again, women would have also been the ones ‘marrying’ men, asking them to adopt their names, and proceeding to be the head of the family unit.
I know men have been going round applauding the Sh10 million woman. But I assure you if any of them wears the pants or considers himself a man, then his manhood should be called into question.
The gifts you give a man have a great impact on the dynamics in the relationship. If as a woman you choose to flaunt your ability to spend a lot in front of your man, then you are not really in your lane. A woman showing off her ability to spend on her man only appeals to ‘weak men’ such as gigolos and their ilk, not real ones.
So give him a gift that is either useful or sentimental like: a tie, a belt, dinner, shirt, shoes, and branded socks. Buying him a very expensive gift, say, a Sh10 million car, my dear you are trying too hard. You’ll regret it. And I swear it will haunt you sooner or later.
However, if you are one of those rare women who prefer to take care of men, then more power to you.