Woman displays clothes in disorganized manner  Photo: Courtesy

Last Saturday my sister tagged me along to visit her friend who I will call Mary. Mary is 27 and got married last year in December.

I’m sorry to say, but walking into Mary’s apartment was like getting into a war zone. You would be forgiven for thinking a tornado had just blown through her home. No words can accurately describe the ugly sight and state of her house.

There was clutter everywhere. The house looked untidy and dusty. The kitchen was filthy with dishes that looked like they were used two days ago.

That was not even the worst. The bedroom left me wondering whether she was crazy.

I could not understand why any woman in her right mind would let her bedroom look like that, and still have courage to give people a tour!

A woman blessed with a seemingly financially stable man, who has put her in a big house, but who just can’t take care of the place.

Self discovery

There were clothes all over, both dirty and clean. I saw panties, bikers and socks strewn all over. Needless to say, she never cooked for us, the food we ate was bought. I could tell.

What’s more, my sister informed me that once Mary had gotten married, she quit her job in customer service to stay home and indulge in ‘self-discovery’ because, after all, her husband has a good job!

Being a very logical and reasonable person, I could not for the love of me understand this character called Mary.

Whatever drove or inspired her to bring shame on the entire female race, only God knows.

In fact, so perturbed was I that I came up with my own list of types of women I would never ever marry if I had been born a man.

Power couple

Firstly, I would definitely not marry a woman who cannot manage and run a home. Never. There is no pride in being a woman and your only bragging rights when it comes to cooking is the ability to boil water!

For crying out loud, go for classes and learn how to cook. You do not have to cook, wash and clean the house on a daily basis, but you should be able to hire the right person to do it.

I would definitely not marry a woman whose idea of ambition is asking me for my money.

How can you be a power couple like Beyoncé and Jay Z if you hook up with a woman who has absolutely nothing to bring to the table? Beauty is all fine and dandy, but it has an expiry date.

Oh, and female parts are not an ‘asset’ per se, I mean doesn’t every woman have them? Which world can you conquer with a woman who has no career plan, no business or even no plan for her future? I do not care if you sell vegetables or even clothes to your neighbours.

A woman should have something for herself and some ambition to take it to the next level.

I would also not marry a woman I could not have a fun and constructive conversation with for more than thirty minutes.

I am so tired of hearing men complain how their girlfriends or wives are boring, not funny or fun to be around.

I would also keep off daddy’s little princesses, party girls... beautiful, yes, but also very fake.

Most are after money, and they all seem to have some skeletons in their closets!