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I am madly in love with Governor Hassan Joho

County_Nairobi
 Governor 001:Ali Hassan Joho

Earlier this year, a young woman took to Kilimani Mums Uncensored Facebook page to confess her undying love for Mombasa County Governor Ali Hassan Joho.

Dorry Amonde Okoyo from Kisumu claimed that she had fallen for the governor, not just because he is loaded, but for his stunning looks as well. She claimed she would die for an opportunity with him behind closed doors.

Dorry confessed that she had thousands of photos of the governor on her phone and every time she looked at them, she got sexually aroused. She was begging the governor to make her his sex slave because she thought he was ‘“handsome and cool” and would care less about his money.

Her wish was to have a one-night stand with the governor whom she promised “not to disappoint and leave him begging for more.”

Dorry is not the only one who is crazy over Governor 001, as he is popularly known.

When a photo of the governor preparing a meal popped up online, women from all walks of life were awed, with some seeking to know whom he was cooking for, wishing it were them.

So, why are women going gaga over Joho?

Girls have traditionally been smitten by the bad boy character, which apparently oozes thick and heavy in the way Joho carries himself. Remember in January when the governor told off President Uhuru Kenyatta during his one-month stay in the county? He accused him of blackmail after the Kenya Revenue Authority (KRA) and Kenya Ports Authority (KPA) ordered the closure of two container freight stations in Mombasa associated with Joho’s family in what the Opposition described as ‘politics of revenge.’

Joho is the type of man who will be exchanging barbs at a political rally in the morning and in the evening, jet skiing with celebrities like Ali Kiba. Girls just dig that!

Historically, men have protected women and bad boys give the illusion of being in charge and protective.

Joho owns a gun which earlier on had been confiscated by the government. Who would bother a woman who is dating an armed man and has the guts to shove Mike Sonko in President Uhuru’s presence with a don’t-dare-me-Sonko retort?

His seeming don’t-care attitude even towards political big wigs is the reason Naomi Mueni, an ODM campaigner admitted that she is crazy about the politician.

“I guess I love the way he takes charge of things. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. Someone like that is in control of everything, even the bedroom. Actually, he’s my crush, he’s a bad boy, and you know how they attract,” Naomi told The Nairobian.

Women love a man who allows them to rest their heads on their chests and fall asleep in their arms.

But let’s also be real. Girls are turned on by a responsible and ambitious man with the ability to control situations to his advantage, and the drive to be successful.

By watching from a distance, women instinctively know that dating the governor comes with privileges, like driving high-end cars. The man who confessed at a rally that he would never be bribed because God blessed him with a bahasha (envelope stuffed with cash) does not need politics to put food on the table. And women love a man reeking of dough.

Joyce Aluoch, a lawyer at a city law firm, admits that she would date the governor or any of his family members precisely for this reason.

“We are talking about a man who is not rich because of his politics, but because of family wealth. I would date him, his brother and son. Joho can afford to pay Tanzanian artistes millions at once and feel nothing about it. Show me whoever is close to him. I need this man in my life,” Joyce purred.

But wealth and power aside, women want Joho for keeps because he has the looks to sire good-looking kids that they can proudly parade before relatives and friends.

Vivien Jonson who is already in a committed relationship, wishes she was single.

“Yes! ndio watoto wangu wakuwe wasupuu kuruka (so that my kids can be as good-looking). I like him because of his looks. Money is not a must because I can take care of myself very well. If only I was single...”

He is by far the most stylish governor in Kenya. His looks, grooming and charm have proved to be magnetic for women across the country. He seems like a man who takes his time when choosing what to wear or shopping for dapper getup. From his well-fitting designer suits, to his casual designer polo shirts and golf shorts.... even his Friday prayer kanzus are stylish. To top it, he has famous friends in showbiz, such as Ali Kiba, with whom he occasionally appears in youth-oriented forums.

Jennifer Mutheu, an NGO employee, says she is crazy about Joho’s beard and for just that, she would vote for him for any position, including the presidency.

“I’ll vote, date and marry him for his damn beard,” she cooed.

And then there are girls who can’t explain why Joho drives them nuts.

“I really can’t tell. I can’t say I like his looks or money. I just know that I’m attracted to him,” says Priscilla Wanyama, a real estate agent.

 

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