Schools are closed and teachers, can finally take a deserved break from chalk dust. However, for most parents, it is a dreaded period. Most of them have no idea what to do with their noisy, spoilt brats, whom they last had conversation with when they dumped them at the school gate. Here are some of the things parents should brace themselves for:
1. Being woken up at crack of dawn
Since most kids are used to morning preps and trekking to school at 5am, chances are high they will be knocking at baba and mama’s bedroom door at 6am. They will be demanding to know how many eggs they should eat na kama wanaweza enda kwa akina Boi. The parents will no longer enjoy morning pillow talks.
2. Early Morning TV
Once they wake up at 5am, these children will proceed to switch on the TV. They will stay glued on the screen for hours as they sing along to Sophia The First. The naughty ones will meanwhile be dancing to Kamatia Chini lyrics, which can make their grandparents turn in their graves.
3. Kukula kila kitu
During school holidays, the house budget shoots up more than that Rotich’s national budget. The kids will eat anything and everything available in the house. Bread will be scrambled for and mayai boiro will be eaten in crates. The parents will be forced to serve rations since it will be too expensive for them. Woe unto you if your auntie from Nyalango decides to send her kids over kuona Nairobi.
4. No more privacy
With a brood of more than five kids roaming aimlessly in the ka- one bedroom house, privacy will go out of the window. Parents will be forced to find other places to go enjoy cha baba na cha mama.
5. Kuabishwa mbele ya wageni
Today’s children are considered ill-mannered and it is not a shocker if a child walks around with a condom picked from your bedroom in front of your visitors. Some children will have the audacity of telling visitors how the mother makes funny noises at night. Still, some child will try to kiss another in front of visitors while imitating what they saw on TV.
Parents should prepare themselves to solve cases or pay for damaged property. This is the time you will hear that your child has insulted your neighbour’s brat. You will also get reports like, Johnny ameiba gari ya Brian, Maggie amegonga Vinny etc etc.
7. Watching Cartoon Network
These children will be force you to watch Cartoon Network and when you try to change the channel, they become resistant or do incorrigible things. This is the time you will need to tolerate them.
8. Makelele mingi
Parents should learn to live with noisy children roaming around the house and those of the jirani. This is the time when the house and the plot is temporarily turned into a small market.
9. Writing on walls
Children will explore their creative side over the holidays. They will be writing everywhere, including walls and cupboards. The naughty ones will go to the extent of using a sharp object to draw a cartoon on your black SUV!
10. Hasara tupu
These brats will insist that you give them your smartphone to play games and in the next minute, your expensive phone would be crashed. The TV remote control which you gave to your son to switch to Cartoon Network channel will be destroyed within minutes.