A stripper performing
  • Even when the Supreme Court was sitting for the presidential election petition, some Kenyans were watching pole dancers as if we’ve already banished disease, poverty and ignorance
  • More women are identifying themselves as bisexuals or outright lesbians
  • When the pole dancers started doing their thing, we moved closer to the stage, only to realise that women had taken all the ‘VIP’ seats
  • Women went nuts when the dancers did erotic moves, danced with their crotch to the crowd, or knelt, facing away and shook their asses
  • Most of these women are straight and saying that women turn them on is sorcery!

 

Last Saturday, we inadvertently found ourselves in a nightclub that has pole-dancers as part of its unique attractions. We went in, saw the set up and we knew serious stuff goes on there. The club had greatly changed under its new management.

Last time I partied there, five years ago, it had no pole dancers. We had specifically gone to watch the Manchester United-Leicester match. But we left the place at 4 a.m. having watched some of the finest pole-dancers Kenya can offer.

I always bump into these things by accident. A few years ago, we went to some club in the upper parts of the CBD. I was with a few white friends and we wanted was a place for a drink and music. Then as soon as we settled in, this young, lithe, almost ethereal woman came completely naked and pole-danced to the disgust of my white friends.

“They should notify you that this place has strippers,” Rickie, from Northampton, United Kingdom protested. But even as he did, some plump women came in and went to basement that we could see from the top and sat around a table.

One of the fatter women lay on the table, completely naked, and holding a long towel with both her hands rubbed it on her loins rather aggressively to the bemusement of the women and the odd man who were watching. That was about a decade ago, when lipstick lesbians swarmed the city. Some were genuine. Some were just experimenting. Over the years, I met women who told me, “It is actually niiice, kissing another woman; it is a fantasy every woman has.”

Over the years, I have met women who identified themselves as bisexual or outright lesbian, especially in middle-class joints and upscale nightclubs. They hardly convinced me, and I often dismissed their confession as mere rebellion against men, who are increasingly disappointing in every sense of the word.

But that was until last Saturday when I noticed something unusual. When the pole dancers started doing their thing, we moved closer to the stage, only to realise that women had taken all the ‘VIP’ seats, and were watching in rapt attention, as the pole-dancers shook their behinds, wound their waist like snakes, and climbed up the pole with such dexterity, Kenya Power should employ them and save on those hooks they give men to climb up their poles to fix transformers.

Man, I had never seen such depravity in my life. On a night when the Supreme Court began its sittings for election petition, is the night Kenyans were watching pole-dancers like we are some Scandinavian country that has banished disease, poverty and ignorance. Alas!

Credits to them, those girls were good and knew their thing.

But what got me overly nervous was how women went nuts when the dancers did erotic moves, danced with their crotch to the crowd, or knelt, facing away and shook their asses, causing tremors that could be felt across the country.

Women lost their heads and were cheering them, throwing money to the stage. Bolder ones walked to the stage, grabbed the asses of the pole dancers, inserting notes in the inner pants of the dancers. Talk about reversal of roles. At some point, one of the dancers paired with another male dancer and simulated a wild sexual act and the whole house went on fire.

Female stripper

Women jumped. Gyrated, screaming their lungs and intestines out, so aroused, and I stood there examining my priorities in life.

What is it that fascinates women when it comes to pole dancers and lesbian porn, live or on video? I asked a few of my more ‘spoilt’ friends and they said that watching women in action arouses them. Ouchie! I would understand if it were male strippers who turned them on, or if they were bisexuals or lesbians. But these are straight women saying that women turn them on. What sorcery is that?

Sex has evolved. Since the turn of the millennium, the country may have stagnated economically, but sexually, we have almost at par with the West. I will now be surprised of a couple strangulates itself, while seeking pleasure.

 While men like me are still very much at home with light-off, missionary, most women are light years ahead of their fantasies and now enacting them, in private and in public.

But I noticed something else. Same way men feel envious of their loaded (cash-wise) counterparts, most of the less endowed women cheering the pole dancers, really wanted a piece of ass, like the men. Only that men took a back seat and women a front seat.

I don’t know how 2037 will look like, sexually speaking.