I felt personally beleaguered and gravely jilted reading “Be Gone Campus Jokes of Men”, a story featured a few weeks ago. The article was belittling campus men. I decided that as a campus man, I wouldn’t take this lying down.

In as much as I partly agreed with the article, I couldn’t help but feel that it was hitting a little below the belt.

Truth be told, many campus guys glory in meaningless past time like watching football non-stop, a package that comes with betting as a warranty. Many campus men are lazy and are thrashed academically by the ‘fairer sex’. Many, still, show up during meal times in ladies’ rooms to borrow notes. However, don’t these analogies represent only one side of the coin? I believe me there are some of us who are focused.

Granted we are poor, but isn’t that why we are here? To make a future!

It is understandable the dire urge ladies have of getting a sponsor.

After all the ‘sponsored ones’ are the best dressed in campus, brandishing the largest phones on the streets, and I am not talking Bird or itel or Huaweii media tab.

I’m talking about real phones. Furthermore, their houses are well stocked and lavishly furnished. Seemingly, the sponsors make us appear useless and so we eat our humble pie.

But wait a minute, don’t you think sponsors, when they were at our level, were also branded jokes? Don’t you think they lingered at girls’ doors during meal times hoping to be invited in, back when they were in campus? In fact I think many of them were as broke as I am now.

Now, our dear ladies, kindly get sponsors all you want. Look gorgeous while you can. Call us campus jokes while there is still time, because if you ask any man he will tell you that time is our greatest asset. Not so for ladies. In fact time is their greatest enemy.

A wise man, I don’t know who, once said ‘men age like wine and women age like cheese’. In a few years time you beautiful campus girl will begin to look rotund. Your sergeants-at-arm will become ‘Olympus-has-fallen’. The beauty you now flaunt will fade faster than cheap Arabian cologne.

It is then that your sponsors will decide that they have had enough of you. The story will be different for men. We will no longer be campus jokes but commanders of the corporate world - morphed from campus boys to potential sponsors. Yet, the best of us will not have time for ‘old campus women’. Along with the Power to read we will be bestowed power to choose, and trust me the choices will be vast.

The campus girl who thought sponsors were cool and that campus boys were jokes will, out of desperation, get married to a sugarcane farmer from an unpronounceable village in Western and they will proceed to have 12 bouncing baby losers.

That sinking boat of a man will now become the stable ship. See your life!