‘Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy,’ is a quote often attributed to the American statesman Benjamin Franklin.
Some Christian fundamentalists might not agree, but booze is no doubt one of the best social lubricants of our time. It is sometimes regarded as the best human discovery after the invention of fire.
And why is it that some women think teetotalers ni wahanyaji, while others can’t stand men who drink? Never mind, no one bothers with women who don’t drink and what they do with their time.
Male drinkers somewhat disapprove of men who don’t drink. They also frown upon those disciplined types who can’t drink before 6pm and even then, they only have three beers for six hours.
Such men are often regarded as ‘brother killjoys’ who take life seriously, yet no one gets out of it alive, as American writer Elbert Hubbard once put it.
Drinking bond men in ways women can never understand. At least for men who drink.
The Nairobian conducted a random survey on what women think of men who hit the bottle. Below are the various ways women look at men who don’t drink alcohol.
Ni wahanyaji, period!
Women believe all men have a vice. If it’s not locking lips with the bottle, then he has a string of lasses whose lips he can’t get enough of.
“A man who does not drink is a deal breaker for me. My past experience has taught me to stay away from teetotalers if I want to keep my weave intact. With such men, cat fights are inevitable,” Katya Mueni, a French translator says.
Katya, who in the past dated three teetotalers, says that she had to fight too many women before she finally gave up.
“There are times when I found thongs and bras in his bathroom and he would not bother to explain,” says Katya, adding that most women believe teetotalers have insatiable appetite for sex.
They are always broke or are stingy
Some women believe men who stay sober cannot afford it. A majority of men who don’t drink are always broke, always borrowing and rarely pay back their debts. No one knows where they take their money. Or are they stingy?
Women just hate broke and stingy men. Apparently a broke man’s company changes as soon he gets loaded.
“Before he got his first job, my boyfriend had never touched alcohol. Once he moved to Nairobi and started driving, I noticed some changes in him. He stopped spending his Friday nights with me and more with his boys at the bar,” Jane Kigo, a student at a city campus told The Nairobian.
Money and alcohol drove a wedge between them as their relationship took a turn for the worse. Thus, she hates men who do not drink because “you can only tell a man’s true character when he is drunk.”oo boring and conservative.
While some women die to take such men to meet their folks, others find them boring and too conservative. Too monastery like. Stiff. Unyielding.
“I cannot picture myself going out with a man who does not drink. What will he be doing when we order a bottle of Jameson? Sipping Sprite?! I don’t want a man who will judge me the next morning while I’m nursing a hangover,” Edith Ojiambo, a single mother says.
Edith claims that she works too hard for a man to dictate how she lives her life.
“Such men are not open-minded and adventurous. I don’t think I’m ready to spend the rest of my life confined to certain beliefs. We only live once.”
Some are just gossipers
Edith goes ahead to blast teetotalers as busybodies.
“Tell me, what else do you think they do with their spare time apart from gossiping about women?”
Gladys Moraa claims to have lost her husband to a group of teetotalers who “came in as saved men and kept pressing him to change his lifestyle. I did not know that they were planning to also change his marital status. He now spends most of his time touring the country in the name of preaching.”
Gladys prefers her drunken husband since he always spent his weekends indoors nursing his hangover. That way, their children could see him.