December hell for sidechicks as sponsors travel home to their families

A recent update from a Facebook user read "Your Mubaba is gonna start annoying you. Don't fight back my sister. December is a trap". We've definitely come across, read or heard of those babes who entirely depend on wababa for survival in towns. Scratch, in Nairobi. I don't know about other towns, but Nairobi is where it all starts and ends. The Alpha and Omega of Wababa Culture.

With the current per-person sharing, it is not news for young women to have an older man, two or even three, mainly for financial assistance. Goat wives have slowly accepted the fact that the loves of their lives also have other loves out there, and 'as long as he's providing for the main family', it's no big deal. Truth is, during December holidays, wababas are always full-time husbands to official wives and fathers to their many children back home.

This only means that sidechicks have had it rough for the last two weeks and Christmas won't be any merrier. It's gonna be a long, broke holiday! At least wives now have their time because the other 11 months are never guaranteed. It's never rosy, we know.

Cat and mouse games all through the year with lies that bind, endless business trips out of town and outside the country, office weekend getaways that everyone knows are nothing short of steamy sexcapades with office girlfriends. Allow the wives to enjoy themselves this December bana. It's been one hell of a year!

Time for men to attend family gatherings, ruracios for their nephews and nieces, and forcibly wear ugly matching kitenge with mama watoto to attend village weddings. Time to visit uncle Zachariah and get introduced to his youngest wife, Philegona.

Village trips to go check on their old folks, three chicken and one goat that they left home a year ago. To go and answer questions from their fathers-in-law why they haven't yet made any other dowry deposit for a whole effing year after taking two emaciated calves in October 2021.

Wababa will be unavailable until the kids go back to school in early January because fees must be paid. They might not even shop for Christmas for the sidechicks. Mama, the deputy head of the family, is now the one walking around with all mzee's three ATM cards and might even have his phone. More suffering for sidechicks!

A girl baby will definitely miss those romantic dinner dates and road trips that she's always been treated to. She will not have the Saturday evening movie dates that obviously cum with happy endings.

Your person, who's not your person, will instead take out the real love of his life with their five kids to a ranch away from town, or to coast for a weekend to rekindle their love life. And since you're stalker number 001, you'll see the lovely photos posted by his wife, but there's absolutely nothing you will do about this.

For those babes whose rent is normally paid by their wababas in/on time, yaani by the second date of the month you're always done with the landlord, it's gonna be tough mami. Unless you were clever enough to convince him to double pay for December and January. Remember, his financial accountabilities are now fully in mama watoto's hands because she is temporarily the holder of the ATMs. T for tough.

Instagram now has less photo updates because where will babyna get new photos of her half naked self at Quiver Lounge or Tamasha to post for us to feel jealous? All she'll have in her gallery are sad filtered selfies in her bedsitter in Githurai Kimbo. Drinking kanjo water and taking turungi and those literally smoked kibandaski mandazi harder than Kenya's economy.

January is always a long month you know. So by the time we get to the 37th day, mubaba dependants would have starved to death! No pizza. No KFC. Nothing like burgers and chocolates. Cut off all those unnecessary calls and texts unless you just want to be dumped - in December! Chill, babe.

He will cum back, when the time is right. It's the goat wife's period of muenjoyo.

Merry Christmas!