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Should I confess to my boyfriend that I cheated on him?

Relationships
 Photo:Courtesy

Should I tell him I’ve cheated and then break up with him or just not tell him at all? I have strong feelings towards my friend and I don’t feel I’m with the right person

Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly two years but I’ve cheated on him twice with the same guy.

The guy I’ve cheated on him with is a really close friend of mine and we get on really well. We are very similar people and have loads in common, unlike me and my boyfriend.

I do love my boyfriend – he’s a nice bloke and treats me well – I just don’t feel the same way as I did six months ago.

I broke up with him the first time I cheated but I didn’t tell him. I just said it wasn’t working for me any more. But we got back together after a few days because I think I missed the company.

I don’t know what I should do. Should I tell him I’ve cheated and then break up with him or just not tell him at all? I have strong feelings towards my friend and I don’t feel I’m with the right person at the moment.

Coleen says

Yep, you need to split up with your man ASAP because he’s clearly not the right one for you.

It’s unfair to keep stringing him along while you make your mind up whether to jump ship or not.

After being with you for two years, I think he’ll probably be hurt either way, but finding out you’ve cheated will really stick the knife in. I don’t think you have to tell him what happened.

But if you do tell him, make sure you do so for the right reasons, i.e. you feel he deserves honesty and not because you want to unburden yourself of any underlying guilt.

He might even find out you cheated or at least suspect it if you end up dating your friend, so be prepared that he might want an explanation from you further down the line.

 

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