By Shirley Genga
They say that when a woman reaches a certain age, she becomes sure of herself, wiser and allergic to drama. I think I may have finally arrived.
In my ma youth days, I was under the naive illusion that I was ‘special’, that I was some sort of love magician who could accomplish the impossible where everyone else had failed.
I was a clueless and hopeless romantic. I believed that I had the ability to turn a frog into a prince with a kiss. That I was so special that where a man’s exes had failed, that with hard work and plenty of effort on my part (of course), I could turn the said man who claimed he was not ready to marry into the ‘bestest’ husband in the world.
But after years of loads of drama, I finally had an ‘aha’ moment, and came to the realisation that I am not that ‘special’. Strangely, I am very okay with that because I now play for ‘team realist’.
delusional
We all like to believe that we are special. There is nothing wrong with that but when you begin to ignore hard-core facts and to imagine the normal laws of reality do not apply to you, know you have joined team delusional.
Being delusional means you have a strong conviction of what is true (in your mind), although the evidence supports something totally different.
ridiculous
Ironically, people are often very realistic when it comes to making decisions concerning career or the type of seats to buy for the sitting room. But for some reason, when it comes to love, we all like to believe we are ‘special’.
We throw caution to the wind and quickly believe the unrealistic. And in the end, love is used as an excuse for all sorts of ridiculous actions and decisions. So much so that I have an inkling that Mr Cupid must be some pissed off chubby baby.
Often, people get into relationships that are doomed from the very beginning hoping that things will work out miraculously. The dafter ones hold on to the belief that they can change others. However, the truth of the matter is none of us has the power to change another human being.
If you marry the party girl, the queen of the bar scene who drinks like a fish and cannot cook to save her life, don’t dream that you are so ‘special’ you will change her into a home loving wife whose only joy will be to make you chapo dondo.
When you date a man who is married, don’t think that he only cheated on his wife with you because you are ‘special’ and that he will never cheat on you with someone else.
I have news for you. It will not matter if he leaves his wife for you, or if you master every Kama Sutra position known to man, or acquire the mannerisms of the great Mary Poppins. Once a cheat, baby, always a cheat.
If you want to have a peaceful life with no drama, simply join ‘team realistic’. You will learn that you were never special and that what you see is what you get.
