I met Rachael who lives in Nairobi three years ago. I live in Nakuru and initially I thought I’d move closer to her with time, but this has proved difficult because I can’t get a job in Nairobi. We have been engaged for two years, but have not settled to get married yet. Of late, she appears to be losing interest in our relationship. She doesn’t call or reply to my messages as often as she used to, and she no longer responds positively to me. I am not sure of what she wants, but I know something is not right. Please advice ...
{Joel}
Your take
One of the reasons we date and have partners, is for companionship. However, this doesn’t mean that a long distance one cannot serve the purpose. Rachael could be seeing someone else, face her to confirm your fears.
(Martin Linus)
Distance has never been an excuse to someone who understands what love is. If Rachael loves you, she shouldn’t ignore your messages or calls however busy she is. After two years of dating, you both must have understood each other well, unless one of you was pretending. A ride from Nairobi to Nakuru takes barely two and half-hours. Both of you should have made arrangements for such visits. Propose the idea, if she isn’t up to it, move on.
(Andrew Chaplin)
One of you wasn’t sincere from the beginning, which means the relationship was based on a lie. Maybe Rachael isn’t the right girl for you. Re-assess whether this is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.
(Shadrack Maiyo)
You have been dating this woman for two years; if she loves you, she should have made up her mind by now. Get to the bottom of the matter by making your intentions clear to her and she should give you a definite answer. If she doesn’t, it’s over.
(Ben Shikuku)
Rachael is not in love with you and is preparing you psychologically, but you still can’t get it.
(Atsiaya Wilberforce)
Out of sight, out of mind. The distance is not doing your relationship any good. You cannot have both Rachael and the job at the moment. Make a choice.
(Karina)
Confide in one of her friends but if you are confident enough, you can also confront her and share your feelings and what you think of your relationship. However, be prepared for whatever outcome.
(Tasma Charles)
My take
Joel, in relationships actions speak louder than words. The interesting thing about your relationship is that for the most part of it, it has been long distance. This could also mean that both of you have not taken time to know each other and as such, one of you (mostly her) is not sure about this whole thing. You may be pushing her into this and she may not be ready just yet. Three years in a long distance relationship is actually little time to get to know someone.
This is not to mean that she does not love you; rather she may just not be ready for marriage for some reasons. She may be overwhelmed and this could be the reason she is not responding to you.
Go easy on her and let go of the marriage talk until the situation is more favourable — when both of you know each other well, and she is ready to settle down.
{Taurus}
