By Shirley Genga

These days, the modern Nairobi man seems to believe that when he gets a girlfriend, he is also getting a free laundry woman, a cook, a cleaner and a home manager all rolled up in one.

Who is to blame for this outrageous misconception about the role of a girlfriend? Sadly, it’s us women, who are to blame, especially those who believe being a girlfriend is, somehow, the same as being a wife.

WIFE

I, for one, do not understand why any woman would be in such a hurry to play the role of a wife before her time. If I have to hear one of my friends say they are going over to their boyfriend’s place to do laundry like it is something to be proud of, I just might have to pinch myself. Come on ladies!

Yes being a wife means that you get a public declaration of love and commitment. You also get to put on that enviable white dress, and you get to be the centre of attention for that one special day.

But make no mistake about it; becoming a wife is not all fun and games, it comes with many personal and domestic responsibilities.

As such, there are certain benefits a man receives when he gets a wife. Wifely benefits include everything from a home cooked meal, to a clean and warm home, to freshly ironed clothes.

  And make no qualms about it, wifely duties are not easy, in fact, they can best be described as a “labour” of love literally. And, as matter of principle, should be saved up for that one special man whom a woman chooses to marry.

TERRITORY

Thus, wifely duties should not be down-played and given to any Tom, Dick and Harry who fancies himself as a boyfriend.

Any wise woman knows that when she is a girlfriend, there are certain things that do not fall within her docket, and as such, she should never ever cross into wife territory.

Being a girlfriend is all about the glitz and the glamour of love. The girlfriend stage is meant to be a fun and flirty experience for every woman.

PERKS

It is that time when a man is meant to work his butt off to convince a woman to be his one and only. As a result, the role of a girlfriend comes with many perks. You get all the fun stuff; you get to be wined, dined and the best part is the fact that men are well behaved at this stage, as most try to hide their bad behaviours.

Fun… right? That is why I am very perplexed at the reason why some women, today, are so eager to get on wifely responsibilities, without so much as a thought about the power they are giving out.

We, as women, need to learn to enjoy every stage of a relationship and not to cross over and trespass into territory that does not concern us. The courtship period is made specifically for a woman to be wooed and not the other way round.